Stuck In a Fandom World
by LissaJoan
Summary: Every normal life goes as planned, for this female fan. She's growing up, learning, living life on the internet. Little does she know, she's in for more than she expects. Into the world of Supernatural. Or are they in hers?
1. Whatever happens

I woke up and my world seemed in utter distress. The walls seemed to cave in and darkness enclosed me. That's when I heard his voice.

"Take my hand!" He called, he muttered the end, I couldn't recognize what he said. I looked for a hand, but there were none. He wasn't there to help _me._ Why would he be? I'm a nobody. I stumbled upon getting up, and it seemed I wouldn't make it out. I began to collapse, consciousness slipping from my grasp. It began to go dark, and the last thing I felt were arms lifting me from the ground.

Sunlight peeked through the blinds as I grew more aware of my surroundings. It wasn't a hospital. Two men entered the room, both looking to me.

"Ah, you're awake." The taller one said. "I'm Sam, and this is my brother, Dean."

"S-sam and Dean?" I asked, "Winchester?"

They looked at me, cocking their heads. Why did I know that? Do I know _them? _Something told me they didn't know me.

"Yes." Sam said, he pulled a chair over to me. Dean just stared. I realized it was quiet for a minute.

"Oh, right. My name..I'm…I'm…" I looked up. "I don't know who I am."

Dean didn't seem convinced. I wouldn't be either, but something told me I wasn't supposed to be here. I frowned, as Sam pulled Dean into the hall, speaking rushed and in a harsh tone. My mind fluttered, and I turned my head as a breeze entered the room. A man, in a trench-coat stood over me. His eyes were blank, and directed at me. The Winchesters rejoined the room.

"Not even a flinch." Dean muttered to Sam. My eyes were still on this new man. He looked familiar. I sat up and sighed.

"Angel." Was the first thing I said. Why did I say that? I didn't want to say that. "Castiel.."

They looked at me, frowning, confused. I was just as much confused.

"She says she doesn't know who she is, but yet she knew us, and you." Dean said. I finally knew what it was from. I knew how I knew them.

"You-your on a television show." They turned back to me. I decided to go on. "Sam was 6 months old when Azazel came into the room to feed him demon's blood, and your mother, Mary, walked in and was killed. After that, your father hunted for revenge, made you two hunters, but Sam didn't want that. He wanted to be normal. Dean, you're Michael's vessel and Sam-Lucifer's. And I know that you guys, because of Balthazar and Castiel, were sent into an alternate universe where you two were stars of the show Supernatural. Dean-Your name was Jensen Ackles, and Sam-You were Jared Padalecki who married Genevieve Cortese, who Dean said was Ruby." They stared. Maybe another book lover-Supernatural series. She thought of that too. "The books. Look. I know about the Leviathan, I know about Cas playing God, and then disappearing. I know everything."

"Right, what do we do with her than?"

"Excuse me, _her_ is right here and _she _does have ears." I say, slightly insulted.

"Okay, fine. How do you know us, but not your own name?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I'm not supposed to be here, I don't think. And Castiel if you have a question, just ask it." I added, I could feel the angel's eyes staring at me. He looked down as I turned to him, and then right in my eyes.

"She's telling the truth. She's seen the two of you on television, and she knows your story. As for her name, it is unclear. Even I can't find it." Castiel said, disappointment crossed his face as he spoke.

"So what do we call you?" Sam asked, I shrugged.

"Fine, Jane Doe. There." Dean said.

"Jane works, I guess." I reply.

"Okay, what was happening in that room the other night?" Sam questioned. I wondered when he'd ask that.

"I don't know. I was lying in bed, reading a book called Hush, Hush. Next thing I know, nothing feels the same, and I'm feeling enclosed and lost. Before I passed out I heard someone call 'take my hand'." I was trying so hard to remember. "I-I think it was my dad. He said something else, but I couldn't hear it. Something on the lines of hizbet."

"Hizbet?" Sam asked, then his face contorted with a new realization. "Your name!"

"Her name's Hizbet?"

"No, but when someone is instructing you to do something they say your name. Hizbet is what she heard. It was most likely Elizabeth. nicknames are common with that name. Probably Liz, Beth. Anything really."

He was looking at me, and I knew it was probably true. "Why didn't Castiel see it though?" I asked.

"You don't have any recognition of other lives. The only thing you seem to remember is about us. Elizabeth, you aren't supposed to be here."

"I know that, but how do I get back?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Can't we do what Balthazar did to send Sam and Dean into my world as Jared and Jensen?" They looked at me, strangely.

"Those dudes actually exist?" Dean asked.

"Yea, Jared is a big goofball, totally unlike Sam. He's a complete child. But it's good for Thomas, his son, and his wife Gen." I laughed a little. "Jensen's married too. Her name's Danneel. They just had their first child, Justice." I looked around. It didn't seem like the angels had fallen. Maybe the show was ahead, maybe it was completely behind. "Oh and then there is Misha. That's you Castiel. Misha is totally different. He's got a family, and his son-West- is adored by fans, though he's not that old. The three of them seem like great friends. But here I can tell it's different. Where are the angels?"

Castiel furrowed his brows together looking at me. "Heaven. Why?"

"Anything with Metatron ring a bell?" They shook there heads. The show was ahead, and they didn't know what laid before them. "Okay…how did you find me?"

"The place you were, we were hunting. Dean saw you as you collapsed. We couldn't see why. You collapsed right in the center of a large room. Nothing was even close to you." Sam said.

So here I was. In a room with Sam, Dean, and Castiel. Hardly even sure if my name was Elizabeth, or if I heard Hizbeth at all. He-who ever he was anyhow-could have been saying any thing. It could've been my imagination. But it seemed like I wasn't going anywhere, and I was sure Sam, Dean, and Cas weren't going to leave me.

"Why did you speak of Metatron?" Cas asked. What do I say? It's too much to know the future, but the thing is it could save a lot of trouble.. Oh god what am I supposed to do?!

"Spoilers.." I choked out.

"Spoilers?"

"Future. I want to tell you, because a lot happens, but I feel if I tell you, things are going to get worse. I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"Yes..you are right, we shouldn't ask to know our future." Cas answered, his eyes flicked momentarily to Dean, and back.

"Right, you're stuck with us then, can't have you roaming around, when you know more about us than we do." I nodded, and Sam went on. "Someone will likely hear and want to use it against us. Are you good with weapons?" I shrugged. How could I know if I was anygood with weapons when I was hardly sure of my name. "We'll teach you then." I nodded again.

"There's something I always wanted to know." I interrupted.

"Yea? What's that?" Dean answered.

"Okay, um, well." I wasn't sure how to put it, so I let it slip out. "All of the fans of the show know Castiel has a strong bond with you, Dean, and vice versa. I want to know why the two of you don't just say you love each other and call it a day."

They stared at me, there mouths agape, except Sam who began laughing loudly. I laughed with him, and he flopped on the bed. The two stuttered their responses, glancing at one another.

"What, do we say that in your world?"

"No, but you've been a bit subtle about it." I replied, calmly. "Little words that seem like nothing that mean everything." I turned to Sam. "Laptop. I need it."

He nodded, going to grab it. As he brought it back and got on, I took it. I went to tumblr. I remembered that. Tumblr was one of those sites I visited. I entered somethings that came into my head, and there I was, logged on to the site. I scrolled through my dash, the other three watching over my shoulder. This wasn't there world, on this. It was mine.

"Look." I pointed to the screen, where a picture of Misha, Jared, and Jensen were being stupid and making faces. The three looked between one another. I grinned and typed in the search bar 'Destiel'.

"Destiel?" Castiel asked.

"Yes. Dean and Castiel. Destiel. Look here." I showed them fanart of Cas laying with his head on Dean's chest, wings showing. Others with Cas caressing Dean's face, and Dean pulling Cas's tie, pulling Cas closer. "This is what we see. And you know what else?" I pulled up clips of the show, clips I though represented them together. I pressed play, and I watched as they turned red, remembering those words, and the ones others have said about them. "See?"

"What about me?" Sam asked. I chuckled and scrolled up to the search bar and typed in 'Sam Winchester'. A fanart of him on a moose was the first thing. We laughed, and as I scrolled, he was entertained. One said 'Is it just me, or is the leviathan Winchesters fricken adorable….?' and there were pictures of the leviathan Winchesters. And there it said 'it's almost like they're just Jared and Jensen on a murder spree'.

"Wait, is your world all about murder? Murder's legal?" Sam asked, realizing he'd seen a few things on the dash about murder, and here it was again.

"Oh, no. Tumblr is the site for, well, not for normal people. We can teach a lot, yet won't get off the computer if our lives depended on it. Though, we do know how to bury a body without looking suspicious." Dean made a 'not-bad' face, and Sam shook his head, a smile on his face though. "But this..this isn't your world online."

"What if we're partially in your world, and your partially in ours."

I cocked my head slightly. I hadn't thought about it. It seemed like I was in theirs, because I couldn't remember myself. Right. Oh well. It was time to get up. They were going to want to investigate, and I wasn't staying behind like some pathetic child.

"Do you have any…well, clean clothes?" I asked. Mine seemed disgusting, and I needed to change.

"Here's a shirt." Sam tossed a shirt in my direction. "We don't have any pants, for girls anyway." The shirt he'd thrown over was one of their plaid shirts, I motioned for them to turn around, while I slipped into the shirt and did it up, it was large, but comfortable. My arms didn't reach the end of the sleeves. "We can stop so you can get some..proper clothes."

I nodded. Getting up, I could feel them watch me, hesitant. They wouldn't have to explain anything, unless I didn't get back by the time the angels fell. But I could always watch the next season online, if it comes back at that time. Hopefully it would. I'd have answers. I'd be of help. For now, I'd have to be helpful anyways. It was going to be a long journey. But it'd be worth it. I hopped into the back seat of the Impala, Cas joined me, Dean and Sam took the front, and we hit the road. Dean turned on the radio, where Stairway to Heaven had come on. Little did I know I told them too much already. Not yet to the Leviathans. It was still early and I'd have to make it up to them.

_And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune_

_Then the piper will lead us to reason_

_And a new day will dawn for those who stand long_

_and the forests will echo with laughter._

__As we drove away, I got a nagging feeling in my gut. This wasn't going to be how it should. I've already entered. Something was going to change. And it'd be only a matter of time before it's noticeable. I'm not supposed to be here.


	2. What do you know?

"Is anything coming back?" Castiel asked, trying to make conversation. I hesitated, I remembered a lot. Most of I really. A blank when I passed out, but I know who I am and for some reason, I didn't want them to know. It'd be best if I'm not myself, and now they have a name-now I just have to play the part. I shook my head.

"No, nothing, well, I'm 15, though." Dean sighed, still keeping his eyes on the road ahead of us. "Nothing makes any sense."

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked, turning to look at me, Sam had turned in his seat too, and Dean took occasional glances into the mirror.

"Um, well. How we all can exist. I don't exist in-" I stopped myself. I didn't know that. I could exist here, I mean, they existed in my world, just as different people. Now me, I might just exist here too.

"In our world." Sam finished my sentence.

"No forget that, a version of me probably does."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, there are versions of you in my world, so why wouldn't there be a version of myself in yours."

They nodded there responses. They didn't bother to push further, and I was grateful. I rested my head against the window, watching the scenery pass by. Flat grassland, and small clusters of trees, every so often. It was nearing six, and there was a small town. We rolled in, and the first place Dean went to was the diner. The Winchesters walked ahead of me, and Castiel looked to me. I was a few a bit shorter than him. I realized we hadn't stopped to get clothes, so I still wore the giant plaid shirt. I sat next to Castiel, as I was feeling a bit out of place. I sat near the wall, Cas on the outside, Sam across from me.

"Excuse us for a moment. Sam, Cas, care to join me?" Dean stated, he stood and I wasn't sure how to react so I nodded and played with the worn down edges of the menu. Cas and Sam followed him, and they went outside. From where I sat, I could see them, and I knew it had to be about me to make them go out there.

~~O~~

"She doesn't know everything. She's already gotten a few things wrong." Dean said. "Maybe it's all a big lie."

"No, she may not have gotten it wrong. She may be telling the truth. From what I can tell, she's scared. She knows what's coming. Not some random stories." Cas replied.

"What, so that _show_ is ahead of our lives then? Is that what you are saying?"

"It's possible."

Sam watched as the two argued back and forth, glancing to the window occasionally. He could see her, sitting. She was afraid.

"I believe her." Sam said, interrupting the two. "She said she's 15, and that site- tumblr- it confirmed a lot. What if she does know about our future?"

"I don't know, I'm worried though, she's right. She doesn't belong here. And if she knows our future, then maybe-" Cas answered

"Maybe she can stop shit if it goes south."

"Dean, I wouldn't put that on her. She may know what's going to happen, but she may not know how to stop it." Sam replied. Dean was obviously unsure of the girl-understandably considering she knew them more than they knew themselves.

"Angels, what did she say about the angels?" Dean asked, remembering the conversation.

"She asked where they were, and about Metatron-Why?" Cas asked.

"Because maybe there's something to do with them. And what about the Levia-whatevers?"

"Leviathan. They're in Purgatory."

"Yea, well she looked at you when she said it. Something is up."

"Whatever it is, shouldn't we work on it when she _isn't_ sitting alone inside. People are going to find out about her, and we can't do anything. So lets go eat, and find out what she knows."

~~O~~

I watched as they walked back to the door, and I pretended I hadn't seen them. Looking forward, I realized I wasn't alone. I knew this man.

"Crowley."

"So, the boys have told you about me?"

"Didn't need too."

"Oh, so imagine that. Another stray."

"I'm not a stray."

"Well, you obviously aren't an alpha, so what are you then?"

"A teenager." I answered shortly. Over his shoulder, I could see the three narrowing their eyes at Crowley, as they moved up. He looked over to them, nodded, and disappeared.

"What did he want?" Dean asked, pushing in beside me.

"Nothing, really. You got in before he said much of anything."

"You know who that is, right?"

"Yea, Crowley. King of Hell and all." I replied, the waitress had come around while they had talked outside, but I didn't order anything but a sprite. I sipped it and watched as she came round once more, to get their orders. "Where are you guys at? Like What was your most recent job?"

"Killed Eve." Dean answered. I froze, my breathing growing heavier.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, I shook my head.

"I-I need-I need to get some air." Dean moved out of the seat, letting me pass. I ran from the diner, feeling their eyes watching me, even outside. I slid against the Impala. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized my mistakes. I'd told them about the Leviathan. They weren't supposed to know. Hell, I brought up angels, so I bet they were damn curious about Metatron and the angels too! Goddammit, I muttered to myself, I'm an idiot.

I sat there, in the shade of the Impala, crying. It wasn't only my mistake that pained me. It was that I knew what was coming for them. I knew this wasn't going to go well. I knew what lay ahead. It was a broken road, and I'd have to follow it with them again, only this time it'd be worse. I pulled my legs up to my chest, hiding my face from anyone passing by. I heard footsteps, coming directly towards me. I didn't look up and the figure slid down next to me. It was silent, and I wasn't going to change that. Apparently, though, he was.

"You okay?" Dean's voice was soft. I shook my head slightly, peeking up from my arms. "I'm guessing you know something, or more than just one thing, that we don't. Anyways, we're going to Bobby's, we figured we'd take you, unless you didn't want to go."

"I-I'll go." I whispered, I felt weak though. Weak, and afraid. I think he knew that though. He nodded and raised himself of the ground, holding a hand out to me and helping me up.

"You want anything to eat? It'll be at least two hours before we hit Bobby's." He said, as he opened the door to the diner. I shook my head slightly, but I wasn't sure. He looked down at me, frowning slightly. "Eat. You'll feel better."

I sighed, and when I sat down, I noticed they'd ordered already, but hardly eaten. At my seat sat chicken strips, fries, my Sprite, and a piece of apple pie. I smiled slightly.

"This work for you?" Sam asked, as I slid over to make room for Dean. I nodded, and took a piece of chicken. It was only then I realized how hungry I'd been. I didn't want to seem piggish so I nibbled on the chicken slowly. I glanced up, occasionally. That's when I noticed Cas had left us. I frowned a little, knowing the only reason he came was because I was here. I wonder if he knew what I knew. I ate what was on my plate, Sam and Dean had gone on talking about random things. They paid soon after, and we left-to Bobby's. It wasn't long before I was asleep in the back seat.

~~O~~

Bobby opened the door, looking at the boys as they hopped out.

"Hey Bobby." Sam said, a smiling a little. Dean shut his door, and went to the backseat. He didn't bother waking her, so he picked her up and carried her inside.

"Who the hell is she?" He asked.

"Well, we think her name is Elizabeth. She's from an alternate universe." Bobby looked at Sam, trying to be clear he heard correctly. Dean nodded.

"And what does that have to do with us?"

"She knows everything. Our future. She knows something is up." Dean laid her on the couch, and joined Bobby and Sam in the kitchen.

"Did you see the way she kept looking at Cas?" Sam asked Dean.

"Even I could tell something was up with Cas, though. Maybe she knows." Dean turned, looking through the doorway at the sleeping girl.

"So, we protecting her or something?" Bobby asked.

"Well, she wouldn't be someone we want any enemies to get a hold of." Sam said, Dean nodded, and walked towards the door.

"You're out of beer." Dean noted, shutting the fridge. "I'm going to get some. Be back in a few."

The two watched as Dean walked out, and listened as the Impala started and drove off. Bobby sighed and sat down, wanting to know more, but figuring its best to hear from her.

~~O~~

Dean was driving back, with a case of beer in the backseat. It was dark, and it was kind of nice to have some alone time.

"Hello Dean," The angel's voice broke his thoughts, startling him, he turned his head to look at Cas. "Are you alright?"

"Yea, I'm..I'm fine, how are you?"

"Just wanted to check in." Dean sighed, maybe this is why he stopped in earlier. To check in.

"So, any word on, uh, Satan Jr being alive?"

"I'm...looking, believe me. I just don't understand how Crowley could've tricked me."

"Well, he's a tricky son of a bitch, that's how. Doesn't matter. But if he is up and kicking, then what does matter is finding him, ripping his head off, and shoving it up his ass." Dean said, keeping his eyes on the road. Castiel looked down, biting the inside of his lip as he did so.

"What about you? Have you found anything?"

"No, nothing yet."

"Where's Sam?"

"He's keeping busy." Dean lied, figuring Cas already knew Sam was at Bobby's. It seemed the angel had forgotten about earlier. "He's tracking a Djinn in Omaha as we speak. In fact, I'm heading out there right now to meet up with him."

"Well, I'd come if I could."

"Yeah, no, I-I get it. No worries." Dean said, he was put down slightly, though. "But, Cas, you'll call, right? If you get into real trouble?"

He turned to look at the passenger's seat, sighing heavily, noticing it was empty. He drove back to Bobby's. Frustrated. Bobby had wandered around, and Sam just sat at the table, on his laptop.

~~O~~

I laid on the couch, listening to Sam and Dean in the kitchen.

"So, what'd you tell him?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. Just relax."

"What's the hubbub?" Bobby asked, walking into the room. I got up, and stood in the doorway. They didn't seem to notice.

"I saw Cas. He popped in on me about two hours back."

"What'd you tell him?" Figures. Bobby would ask the same- wait. This conversation. I recognized it. Cas was here, and they didn't know it. I frowned, and listened.

"Nothing, all right? Told him we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn't know that we're getting close to Crowley. You know, he's our friend... And we are lying to him through our teeth."

"Dean-"

"-so he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him."

"He's an angel."

"He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven!" Dean said, defending Cas to Bobby. "He can make a mistake!"

"Nobody's saying nothing yet." Bobby answered.

"You think that Cas is in with Crowley?" Dean asked, annoyed. I stared at the empty spot I knew Cas stood-invisible. "Crowley?"

"Look, I'm just saying I don't know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it. But I don't know." I listened to Bobby and Dean. I knew they were right, but I knew I couldn't tell them.

"Look, Dean, he's our friend, too, okay? And I'd die for him. I would, but...Look, I'm praying we're wrong here." Sam added.

"But if we ain't...If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here...that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite." Bobby added, I cringed, as I thought back to this moment from the show. Dean looked at Sam.

"This makes you Lois Lane."

"Look, one problem at a time here. We got to find Crowley now, before the damn fool cracks open Purgatory." I frowned again, as Bobby left the room. The Demon, Red? I think that was his name... He was in the basement. Castiel would be off to kill Ellsworth.

"Ellsworth." I muttered. Dean looked at me and I looked down.

"What?" Sam asked. Bobby came upstairs, and I knew it was time.

"Dispatcher, apparently. We gotta go to Ellsworth." He said. Dean looked at me, he knew I knew. Arriving at Ellsworth's house, Dean and Bobby took the front, and Sam took me around the back. We met up inside.

"Hey, clear from the back." Sam announced.

"Demons get tipped and bugged out?" Dean asked.

"Maybe they run from us now. I mean, that would be a nice thought, right?" I sighed and looked down. I could feel them look at me.

"Yeah, if that's what happened."

"Yeah." Sam said in agreement with Bobby. I leaned against the wall, waiting. I think they could tell, as they began to look.

"Hey...the place is clean." Sam noted.

"Yea, but it's...It's like "Mr. Clean" Clean, you know? It's kind of OCD for your average demon." Bobby frowned.

"Yeah. So what now?" Sam asked.

"We'd call Cas." Dean interrupted.

"What?"

"This is usually the point where we would call Cas for help."

"We talked about this." Bobby said.

"Yeah, Dean." Sam frowned slightly.

"No, you talked. I listened. This is Cas, guys. I mean, when there was no one...And we were stuck – and I mean really stuck – he broke ranks. He has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is Cas! Don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least?" I could see Sam sigh, as he began to speak.

"Castiel...This is really important, okay? Um...We really need to talk to you."

"Castiel, come on in." There was a pause, and I was about to say he wasn't coming. "Cas is busy."

"That's all right. We are, too. Come on." Sam said. I wasn't liking this, and I'm sure they could tell. I kept my eyes were Cas had stood in the episode, hiding.

"Back to square one." Bobby frowned.

"Great. Well, what do we do now?" Dean questioned.

"Well, we caught one hunter demon before. We can do it again." Bobby announced.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, as a demon attacked Dean, and others attacked them. I stood to the side, when I felt myself pulled down by one of them. I didn't fight. I can't fight. I'm crap with anything! Oh, god, was I screwed!

_"_Crowley says 'hi.'" The demon smirked. Castiel revealed himself, and I knew it was coming. I sighed in relief, knowing what he was going to do here. He went around, smiting the demons that attacked us. I could here the monologue in my head. Castiel, in the monologue was saying _'For a brief moment...I was me again.'_

"It is good to see you, Cas." Dean said. I turned my head away.

"You all right?" The angel asked.

"Yea. Perfect timing, Cas." I could see Sam's eyes shoot to me as he spoke. He helped me up, and even then I didn't look at Cas.

"I'm glad I found you. I come with news."

"Yeah? What?" Dean asked.

"I firmly believe Crowley is alive."

"Yeah. You think; Kojak? Well, Bobby, what do we think about Cas saving our asses...again?"

"I think we owe you an apology." Bobby admitted.

"Why?" Cas asked, I was burning hot. Pissed.

"We've been hunting Crowley this whole time...and keeping it from you."Sam added.

"We thought...you were working with him." Bobby said.

"You thought what?" Cas asked. I turned away from Sam, walking into the next room and slamming my fist on the table nearby. I know they heard, but they continued to talk.

"I know. It's crazy, right?" Dean said.

"It's just that you torched the wrong bones. It doesn't matter. We – we were wrong." Bobby seemed relenting to say they were wrong.

"You know...you could've just asked me."

"And we should have. We never should've doubted you. It's...I just hope you can forgive us." I knew this was going to suck. Dean just apologized. Cas just lied yet again.

"It's forgotten."

"Thanks." I could hear relief in Dean's voice. It pained me.

"Yeah. Thanks, Cas." Sam added.

"It is a little absurd, though." Cas said, smiling slightly.

"I know, I know." Bobby shrugged it off.

"Superman going to the dark side. I'm still just Castiel." I slammed my fist into the table. I didn't even have to watch and I knew Dean had figured out Cas was lying.

"I guess we can put away the Kryptonite, right?" Dean said. He wasn't happy. I knew it. I knew Cas left, when Dean came into the room, I shut my eyes tight. He faced me, and I looked up. "You knew, didn't you. This whole time you knew and you couldn't tell!"

"Dean, relax." Sam said, defending me.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I-I knew it was coming. I just-"

"You just what? Couldn't warn me he was betraying us?"

"Dean, I couldn't say anything. I only realized it was already this close. Yes. Cas lied."

"What else?"

"What?"

"What else?" He barked.

"Ask him. Ask him yourself. Later." I said, not hiding any disappointment I held for Cas. "Use holy fire." Dean nodded. I pulled myself, sitting on the edge of the table, Sam pulled himself up too. It'd be a little waiting. They weren't going anywhere. I told them not to.


	3. Sick to my stomach

I watched as they all took a drink of whiskey. They buried the bodies a bit ago. Bobby had asked small questions that laid on his mind, but didn't seem to want anything deep. Dean didn't look frustrated with me, as he seemed earlier. They were waiting, for me. As I knew what the place looked like when they called him, they wanted me to tell them when.

"Dean." I said quietly, he looked up, and I nodded.

"Castiel, uh…. We need you for a little powwow down here, so come on down." Dean said, directly after my nod.

"Hello." Castiel announced himself.

"Oh, Johnny on the spot." Bobby muttered. Cas didn't seem to hear.

"You're still here."

"Yeah, we had to bury the bodies." Sam answered.

"And we found a little whiskey. Thanks for coming." I could see what it took for Dean to be doing this.

"How can I help?"

"Oh, look. We, um – we have a new plan. We think we've finally figured out a way to track down Crowley." Sam was doing most of the talking at the moment, taking over for his brother. I sat there. Mad this was even happening.

"What is it?" Cas asked, looking to Dean. Bobby stepped forward, lighting the match and dropping it on the floor by Castiel's feet, trapping him in a ring of holy fire.

"It's you." He said.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked.

"We gotta talk." Dean said.

"About what? Let me go!"

"About Superman. And Kryptonite."

"How'd you know what I said?" Bobby added on.

"How long you been watching us?" Sam asked.

"You know who spies on people, Cas? Spies." Dean said. I realized how much this seemed like tag along talk. And I couldn't help but notice their faces as they said them. It was one thing to watch it on television, it was another to see it in real life.

"Okay, just wait. I don't even know what you mean."

"What about this demon craphole?" Sam asked. "How is it so, uh… 'Next to godliness' clean in here?"

"And how exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?" Bobby's voice was accusing.

"It's hard to understand. It's hard to explain." Cas rambled. "Just let me go. Let me go and I can-"

"You got to look at me, man." Dean interrupted, Cas fell silent. "You got to level with me and tell me what's going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." Castiel looked at Dean, and seemed quite confident, but then he turned his head away. "You son of a bitch."

"Let me explain-"

"You're in it with him? You and Crowley have been going after Purgatory together? You have, huh? This whole time." I could see trust slip away from Dean. He was pissed, and I couldn't blame him. I was pissed, and now I am again. But I knew it wouldn't last long for me.

"I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you."

"Protect us how?" Sam asked, taking over for Dean. "By opening a hole into monsterland!"

"He's right, Cas. One drop got through, and it was Eve. And you want to break down the entire dam?" Bobby joined it.

"To get the souls. I can stop Raphael. Please, you have to trust me."

"Trust you?! How in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?"

"I'm still me. I'm still your friend. Sam…I'm the one who raised you from Perdition."

"What?" Sam asked. "Well, no offense….but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it. Wait. Did you bring me back soulless… on purpose?"

"How could you think that?"

"Well, I'm thinking a lot of things right now, Cas." I was tempted to jump in, but I knew I shouldn't. I saw as glances to me passed around, though most eyes were fixed on Cas.

"Listen. Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice."

"No." Dean spoke up. "You had a choice. You just made the wrong one."

"You don't understand. It's complicated-"

"No, actually, it's not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it…Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!"

"It sounds so simple when you say it like that.. Where were you when I needed to hear it?"

"I was there." Dean said, his voice low and gravely. "Where were you?" There was a pause. "You should've come to us for help, Cas."

"Maybe." Cas started.

"No, not maybe, Castiel." I said, interrupting when I knew it wasn't the right time. "You had a chance." He looked at me, we heard loud wind outside, and could see the large cloud of demon-smoke approach.

"It's too late now." He said, accepting his fault. "I can't turn back now. I can't."

"It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!"

"Dean, it's not broken! Run. You have to run now! Run!"

Dean looked at Cas before breaking out of the door. Sam and Bobby followed. I stopped at Castiel, and he looked at me.

"You knew I was there, the whole time." Cas said. I nodded. "Why didn't you tell them?"

"I knew they were going to find out. I don't know why I'm here, but I know you're going to be making a terrible mistake. But you have to make it. It's going to seem so easy at the times." Cas nodded, and I felt myself go weak again.

"You should have left!" Cas said suddenly. "Hide, go!"

I went to pull myself out of sight, but I didn't get the chance.

"My, my. Playing with fire again?" Crowley's voice didn't surprise me. I heard him snap, and the fire went out.

"If you touch the Winchesters…."

"Please. I heard you the first time. I promise – nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they've proven my point for me. It's always your friends, isn't it, in the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It's always our friends who got to claw into our sides and hold us back. But you know what I see here?" I watched as he pointed to Castiel. "The new God and the new Devil, working together."

"Enough. Stop talking and get out of my sight." Cas snapped.

"Well…Glad I came. You're welcome, by the way." Crowley began to head for the door. "You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?" He then caught sight of me, and I quickly turned my head away. "Wichester's forgot their little _pet_. Or is she yours?"

"I'm not a pet." I spat. He walked over to me, picking me off the ground.

"Well, you can't be too important for them to forget you." I frowned.

"They didn't forget me. I had to talk to Cas."

"About what, may I ask?"

"About what he's going to do."

"Like you can understand anything he's even saying. You're nothing but human."

"Better than, oh I don't know, King of Hell. Crappy job you've got. You're not going to win. In fact, I suggest you enjoy your time in Hell while you can." I said, he seemed to narrow his eyes.

"Should take you with me, show you Hell." I froze a bit, he didn't release me. "Bye, Castiel." He said.

"Let her go." Cas frowned. Crowley let go of my shirt, pushing me back a bit as he did so.

"Fine." He disappeared as I stumbled back, grabbing at the wall for support.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked me. I nodded, though still weak. "It seems you being in the wrong universe isn't easy on you."

"Yea, I-I think vitamins might help." Cas nodded, and grabbed my arm. It took a minute for my head to stop spinning before I realized we were at Bobby's. Dean was sitting on the couch, looking slightly upset, and slightly worried.

"Hello, Dean." Cas said.

"How'd you get in here?"

"The angel-proofing Bobby put up on the house – he got a few things wrong."

"Well, it's too bad we got to angel-proof in the first place, isn't it? Why are you here?" He hadn't seen me yet, Cas stood in front of me.

"I want you to understand."

"Oh, believe me, I get it. Blah, blah, Raphael, right?"

"I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you."

"Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me."

"You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will-"

"You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!"

"I know what I'm doing, Dean."

"I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't…Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it."

"I don't understand."

"Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family – that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something….You got to trust me, man."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll have to do what I have to do to stop you."

"You can't, Dean. You're just a man. I'm an angel."

"I don't know. I've taken some pretty big fish."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Well, I'm sorry, too, then." They nodded at each other.

"Here's the girl. She didn't make it out before Crowley came." Cas stepped aside and Dean got up immediately. "She's alright. I didn't let him hurt her." Cas disappeared.

I swayed a little as Cas left, Dean didn't let a moment pass as he pulled me over to sit on the couch. I heard Sam walking through the halls.

"Dean? I thought I heard-" He cut off as he entered the room, his eyes falling upon me. "Cas."

"You did. Bobby got some of the angel-proofing wrong." He turned back to me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, feeling a bit drained. I didn't want him to be worrying about me. He was already stressed enough, and I didn't want to add to that.

"What happened?" Sam asked. "I thought you were right behind us, and then in the car, you weren't there. We couldn't go back in, it was covered." Sam pulled up a chair, and Dean sat next to me. I sighed.

"I didn't follow." They both gave me a parent-type look. The '_and-why-didn't-you?' _look. "I didn't follow, because I needed to tell Cas."

"Tell Cas what?"

"I needed to tell him the mistake he's going to make isn't going to seem hard. And it's not going to be fun. I just-I wish he didn't have to make it though."

"What if he doesn't have to make it?" Sam asked. I shook my head.

"He doesn't. But he will. Against his better judgment." I looked at Sam. This wasn't going to be easy. "I will say this. Watch out, because he'll go to any lengths for this. Even so far as to kill."

They frowned, and I leaned back, closing my eyes for a moment. Dean spoke up after a minute.

"What happened. Back there? With Cas and Crowley?"

"Crowley let Cas out of the holy fire. The first thing Cas said was not to touch you two. Crowley said you made his point for him. Friends won't let you _improve_ yourself. Then he said he sees the new God and Devil working together. Cas told him to leave, right after Crowley finished talking. He saw me..he had an interest in showing me hell, because I mocked him slightly."

"You _mocked_ Crowley?" Sam asked, incredulously. I nodded a little.

"He said I didn't understand what they were saying, because I'm just human. And I simply said it was better than being the King of Hell, called it a crappy job, and said something about his time as King of Hell…" I didn't want to say anything else, because I'd already said things I shouldn't, again, but this time-it felt alright. "He seems to think I'm a pet to you. He called me a stray in the diner, and a pet in that house."

"Yea, he does that." Sam said, knowing Crowley and giving nicknames. I nodded. The night was spent with small talk, and then it was black outside. I knew that the other two probably weren't getting much sleep, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Sam did gather up vitamins, and give them to me. After a bit, I felt a bit better, and he decided it'd be best to keep me on them. I fell asleep in the same spot, knowing they weren't going anywhere. And I got to look forward to learning how to use weapons in the morning, as Sam wanted me to learn. I thought to myself that it was because he wanted to teach.


	4. Bumps in the road

I woke up, Dean and Sam were nearby. Dean was sitting with a book, not reading it, and Sam sat at the table, leafing through a book. It was slightly peaceful, but the time wouldn't last long.

"Well, you know what, at least you tried." Sam spoke up.

"Yeah, fat lot of good it did. Why did he even come, right?" Dean's eyes shot to me as I sat up. He looked a little apologetic, Cas did bring me back. I smiled a little, to let him know it was alright. Sam shrugged and sighed. Dean slammed the book shut. "Well, Samuel's journals are pointless. I mean, I'm sorry, but uh, Jebediah Campbell has squat to tell me about how to stop Cas from cracking Purgatory."

Bobby walked in, carrying a large envelope. "Well actually it's not about the jornals we have, it's about the one we don't."

"Meaning what?" Sam asked.

"Well, that's the bad news. Our pal Cas didn't stop in last night just to mend fences."

"What did he do?" Dean asked, frowning.

"Stole something."

"What?"

"The journal of one Moishe Campbell."

"Moishe?" Sam asked, the name seemed new to him.

"Of the New York Campbells."

"Well, uh, so we gotta get it back, right?" Sam looked to Bobby. Bobby held up the envelope before passing it to Sam.

"Or just read the copy I'd already made. Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer. Paranoid bastard." Bobby read pages of the journal, and after a little bit, Dean walked in bit carrying three mugs. He handed one to me. Coffee. He'd added milk and sugar too. I smiled a little, thankfully. I didn't like plain coffee. Sam sat at the desk with another book. Outside, I could hear a train whistle. I sipped the coffee. I knew I wouldn't need to read any of the books for information, because Bobby had the correct journal.

"I think I zeroed in on something." Bobby said, at last.

"What do you got?" Dean asked. Bobby handed him the page and Dean walked towards Sam, reading from the journal. "'Went to talk to Howard Phillips about the events of March 10th.'" Dean handed Sam a mug and sat on the desk.

"That's March 10th, 1937"

"Alright. So who's this Phillips guy?"

"Phillips ain't his last name. It's Lovecraft."

"Wait, H.P. Lovecraft?" Sam asked. Bobby nodded. "Let me see that." Dean handed Sam the paper.

"Am I supposed to know who that is?" Dean asked, Bobby looked surprised. I smiled a little. I'd looked Lovecraft up after this episode.

"Horror Writer. At the Mountains Of Madness, The Call of Cthulu?"

"Yeah, it's – no, I'm – I was too busy having sex with women." He glanced at me, and seemed to bite his tongue a little. I wondered if I should tell him that I'm not a toddler, not to mention his sex habits had already been revealed on television. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Well, anyhow. There's on notion that comes up over and over again in his stories. Namely opening doors to other dimensions and letting scary crap through."

"You don't say." I sighed as Dean made his remark.

"Wait, so you're saying you think Lovecraft knew something about Purgatory?" Sam asked.

"All I know is Moishe paid him a visit."

It was quiet for a bit, Sam broke that silence. "Right, lets get you using weapons." I nodded, putting the half-empty cup of coffee on the table, following Sam outside. He'd brought only a few different weapons. A hand-gun, a rifle, and a few knives and daggers.

Sam grabbed the handgun first, he showed me how to properly hold it, and shot towards a target out about twenty feet away or so. He hit target. I kinda figured he would. He handed me the gun, and after I shot a few times-completely missing the target- he commented on how I was holding the gun, and standing. After he cleared that up, I fired again and hit the target, on one of the outer rings. I grinned and looked back at him. He smiled and nodded, motioning for the rifle. I set it down, and grabbed the rifle. He had me hold it, and he corrected what he could see I did wrong. Like how I brought it up. So, after a few times of moving and placing, he let me fire. I hit near my other shot on the target and was genuinely pleased with myself. I saw Dean stand off to the side, but when he saw me notice him, he turned and walked inside. I set the rifle down, and picked up a dagger.

"Show me what you can do." Sam said, pointing to a dummy hanging across from the target, I grabbed two more, now holding three daggers. I stepped closer, it was about the same distance, now, that it'd been between myself and the target. But I knew it wouldn't count. I walked a bit closer, but not close enough for any hand-to-hand combat. I looked back at Sam, he'd walked next to me, and now stood a few feet behind me, watching. I took a deep breath and threw a dagger, it clipped the dummy on the side, and quickly I threw another, it lodged itself directly in the abdomen. I looked at Sam, he looked proud.

"I remembered what you said with the guns. Eyes on the target. Figured it would be safer than running head on into combat." He walked up to me, put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

"Smart. We can work on hand combat later, for now lets get inside. See if they found anything else-not that you wouldn't already know. But we still should get breakfast." I nodded, radiating with pride as we walked back to the house.

As we got in, I heard a phone ringing. I walked towards it, stopping as I heard Dean answer. "Ben?….What?" As I listened, I could tell Sam was listening too. We stood in the doorway. He glanced at me, and I turned away slightly. "What are they?….Did you see their eyes?..Teeth?..This is important Ben, I need to know….Okay, where are you now?….Can you get to your mom's closet? I left a shotgun in there…..Okay, Ben, listen to me." Dean looked worried, and stressed. "Go to your window and jump….Any bones you break won't compare to what they're gonna do to you, Ben. You've got to jump…I'm coming right now….I'm coming to get you and your mom, I promise. You with me, Ben? Ben?" Dean frowned, looking at the phone. "Ben?"

The phone went quickly back to his ear, and I knew Crowley had answered. Dean stood, anger boiling beneath his skin, he stepped towards Sam. "Crowley, let 'em go _now_, or I swear….." Silence went on and then Dean growled. "I am going to kill you." More silence followed. "I'm telling you, last chance to let 'em go easy." After a minute, Dean huffed and hung up, though I knew Crowley already had.

"What's the story?" Bobby asked.

"He said Lisa and Ben keep breathing as long as we sit on our thumbs." Sam sighed, and looked at me, more than Dean.

"You think Cas knows about this?" Sam asked. Dean looked at me, as he gave his answer.

"We gotta assume he does." I shook my head a little, not wanting to speak up though.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you what we're not gonna do: sit here. I'm going after 'em."

"I'm coming with."

"No, sam. You and Bobby stay on the Lovecraft thing, okay? Cas is already way ahead of us."

"You gotta be nuts if you think I'm gonna let you do this alone. Bobby can take care of the case."

"No, guys." Bobby stood up, frowning.

"Bobby, this is a big ball, okay? We can't drop it now."

"Fine. But how are you two gonna find Lisa and Ben?" Dean frowned. Bobby had a point. Dean turned and glared at me.

"Why don't you tell me?" He growled, striding towards me. I didn't take my eyes off him. He slammed his fist into a nearby wall, startling me. "Huh?! Why the fuck don't you tell me where they are?! What use are you if you can't do one damn thing!"

"I- I can't." I said, quietly, my voice failing me.

"You can't? Or won't?" Dean's voice was gravely. Sam shook his head, and stepped in between us, he gave Dean a small head shake, and turned to me. His eyes were a bit softer.

"Can you tell us _how_ to find them?" He asked, his voice was gentle, compared to Dean's and I nodded a little. I looked between the three, Dean had backed up a few steps. I took a deep breath, and I faced Dean.

"Balthazar." I said, quiet still. I urged myself to speak a bit louder. "Tonight, you summon Balthazar and Bobby goes to see a Lovecraft enthusiast named Judah."

Dean sighed a bit, and sat on the couch, he still wasn't happy with me. I could tell him where, but I didn't know what would happen if I did. I thought it'd be safer not to. Sam tapped me on the shoulder.

"Why don't we get you some clothes that actually fit?" he suggested, I nodded, and followed him out to the car. I sat up front, looking out the window as he drove to a store nearby. Nothing fancy, it was simply Wal-Mart. I guessed he didn't want to spend much, especially now. Parking, he said "Don't let Dean scare you." I nodded.

Inside, he told me to meet him up front in ten minutes. I nodded again, words failing me, and wandered into the clothing section. I found a red plaid shirt, and a plain t-shirt, blue. I found a jacket, simple and kinda cute, bra and underwear slipped their way in, and for pants I grabbed a few pairs of jeans. I also went for shoes, because I realized I'd been wearing slippers- at least they weren't obvious slippers. I grabbed a pair of sneakers, tried them on. In total it'd probably be thirty dollars, I chose things that were on sale, or cheap. As agreed, I met Sam up front. He'd grabbed a few groceries while he was here. I stood at the register, feeling really small compared to Sam, and watched as the cashier rang up the items on the conveyer belt. It went by quickly, and we were back at Bobby's in no time. It was about 3pm. It was going to start getting dark in about three hours.

I was more afraid now. I knew Dean wasn't going to be too happy after Balthazar splits. He's probably going to yell at me again, and then go off and kill demons.

I was right, darkness crept in about 6 o'clock, and by 8, Bobby was leaving, having found Judah. I waved, now back in properly sized clothes, and feeling a bit better. I went out with Sam and Dean to summon Balthazar. The lights went out, and Balthazar appeared, a drink in his hand. I rolled my eyes slightly, though I think I went unnoticed.

"I'm sorry boys, do I look like a man-servant to you? No?" Balthazar seemed annoyed. "No? Then quit ringing for me, please."

"This is important, Balthazar." Dean said. I stood beside Sam, I didn't want Balthazar to see me yet.

"I was drinking '75 Dom out of a soprano's navel when you called. _That_ was important."

"Crowley's alive." Sam said, nodded.

"Well you've been scooped. Cas already told me."

"Well did Cas tell you that he is Crowley's butt-buddy, you smug little dick?" Dean asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Handshake deal. Go halfsies on all the souls of Purgatory. He fill you in on that?" Sam added.

"Well, yes, yes. Yes, of course he did. Yes." Balthazar said, clearly lying.

"Oh, yes, of course. I-I-we can read it all over your face." Sam said.

"Look, Crowley and Cas took two people who are very important to me."

"And I care about this because?"

"Because maybe there is a shred of decency underneath this – this snarky crap." Dean said, as Balthazar took a sip of his drink. "They're innocent people and I'm asking for your help."

"Hmmm. I see. Fair enough." Balthazar disappeared, right on time too. I played with my hands, and Dean turned toward me, as I expected.

"Son of a bitch!" He spat.

"Look, Dean. Let's just call Cas. Maybe he doesn't know anything about this."

"We are not calling Cas."

"Yea, but Dean."

"We're not calling Cas!"

"So what then?"

Dean didn't take his eyes off me, and I knew I should say something. I sighed heavily.

"Look, yes, I knew he was gonna take off-" I started. Dean huffed, and looked ready to storm off, my voice took a pleading edge to it. "But Dean, it's worth it. He will help."

"Yea, sure he will." He rolled his eyes. I lost my temper.

"Fine. You will go off killing demons in the garage, trying to get the information out of them where Crowley is. Meanwhile, Balthazar is gonna have a little chat with Cas and find out the truth, and be a little pissed at Cas while he's at it." I huffed, there was more confidence in my voice than there had been all day. "So go ahead. Be pissed for all I care. I don't know what I am allowed to say here!"

It wasn't Dean who stormed off, but me. I went straight back to the house, Sam and Dean watching me go. I heard Sam speak.

"Well, she told you something useful at least." He said. "And I wouldn't mess with what she knows, because if she says something at the wrong time, it wouldn't be to well for any of us."

"Fine." Dean said, the edge to his voice had gone away, faintly.

"What do you think about having a teenager living with us?" Sam asked, I was walking still, and it wasn't as easy to hear.

"More difficult than I thought. You seem to like the 'brother-route'."

"Yea, suppose so. Dean, go easy on her. She's not in her environment—" I couldn't hear them any longer, I'd sped up a bit. I didn't go inside though. I didn't want to be alone. Here, alone could get Crowley- again. I wondered about the diner. Had he gone to see them? Or did he somehow hear about me? I didn't want to believe he was there for me, so I shrugged it off, and sat outside. I wanted to talk to Sam.

I sat for a little bit, looking up at the stars. It was peaceful. I felt myself drifting to sleep, but I shook it off, not wanting to sleep yet. I was still wondering how long I was going to be in this world. After a while, I decided to go in. I sat at the table, waiting, until finally Sam came in.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi."

"Look, Dean's just-"

"A little upset. I know. He just wants to find Lisa and Ben, and he knows I know. The only thing is I can't remember the exact adress. But I do remember Balthazar's conversation with Cas. Or at least parts of it. Cas will lie when asked if he's working with Crowley, and Balthazar will see right through the lie and ask why."

"Okay. I believe you." Sam sighed, I knew he didn't want Dean to go off and kill demons like this. It was quiet for a minute.

"Sam?"

"Yea?"

"Promise me that if you can't get Dean to take a break from trying to get answers with the demons, promise me that you'll call Cas."

"Yea, sure." He nodded. "You should get some sleep."

I nodded, I wasn't going to be doing much tomorrow, I knew that. Dean was going to be killing demons, and Sam would be worrying about him. I sighed, got up and went back to the couch again. It wasn't the most comfortable, but I didn't mind. Sleep came quicker than I thought it would. I woke and the place was dark, and quiet. I got up, wandering around a bit. I noticed the clock, it was 5 am. I pulled on the jacket and my sneakers and went outside. I jogged around the lot for a little bit, it felt good, and I figured it'd be best not to leave the lot. I stopped outside of the garage when I heard Dean growl inside. I leaned against the garage, hearing a scream. I sank down next to the garage. I hated watching Dean torture, but I knew in some sick twisted way, he liked it. I knew he wasn't going to torture innocent people, or at least I hoped he wouldn't, after hell. I got up and jogged again, hearing movement inside. I jogged a few more laps around the lot.

I was back in the house by 7 am, I didn't think I was out that long. Sam was up, and he nodded as I came in.

"You seen Dean?" I shook my head.

"No, but I heard him. He's in the garage." Sam sighed, and I nodded. Bobby still was out, so it was just us inside the house. I looked through books, leafed through a few journals. Enough to entertain myself. Sam wandered around and looked through books too. It was about four in the afternoon when we talked again.

"What was-what was he doing in the garage?" He asked, though we both knew.

"Demons. He's been there for a long time. I got up around five, and a little bit after went outside for a jog. He was there already." Sam nodded.

"I'm going to go check on him." I nodded and went back to the journal I was reading through. Through an open window I heard a one-ended conversation.

"So, what happened?" Sam's voice was clear, and I inched closer to the window. "Wow, um, so where are you off to now." It was the conversation he had with Bobby. He began to move away from the window, and I followed after him. He was standing in front of the garage, and I could hear the fight inside. "I see, um….Well, keep me posted, huh?" Sam said. Inside the garage again I heard more screams, Dean must've been killing the demon. I completely missed what Sam and Bobby were talking about. "About how you'd expect." I heard, right before he hung up. They had switched briefly to Dean.

Sam turned, slid the phone in his pocket, and went into the garage. I didn't bother going over right away. I knew what was happening. It wasn't too long after Sam came back out, looking upset. He looked toward the house, I was on the side of the garage by this time, there was something I wanted to do.

"Castiel, it's Sam. Um, so look, I don't know if you're in on this whole Ben-Lisa thing, but if you have any heart whatsoever, bring 'em back to us, man. C'mon. Please. I'm begging you. I am begging you, do you understand?" Sam looked around, and scoffed. He began to walk away, and I slid out from my spot, after he couldn't see. I looked towards the spot I knew Cas hid. I motioned for him to come out. At first I thought I'd missed him, but after a minute, he appeared beside me, hidden from view of the house.

"Elizabeth."

"Castiel."

"What is it?"

"You know what you have to do."

"No, I don't." He admitted, looking defeated. "I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do!"

"Go talk to Crowley." He nodded, and looked ready to leave, he faced me one last time.

"Will Dean forgive me?" He looked upset. I had to tell him.

"In due time, yes." He gave me a quick smile and disappeared.


	5. Hard enough as it was

I sat on the outside of the garage, Sam really didn't like him in there, but there was nothing he could do to get Dean out. I heard a crash and jumped up, ready to burst through the doors. Not that it would do any good, I didn't have a weapon. I waited a minute, and noticed the light that peeked through the cracks in the door. After the light died down, I peeked through. Dean looked at Cas in shock. After he caught his breath, he spoke up.

"I didn't ask for your help."

"Well, regardless, you're welcome."

"Why are you here?" Dean asked, walking past Cas.

"I had no idea Crowley would take Lisa and Ben."

"Yeah, right." Dean said, picking up a broken strap.

"You don't believe me."

"I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth." I took the moment to slip into the garage.

"I thought you said that we were like family. Well I think that too. Shouldn't trust run both ways?"

"Cas, I just can't…"

"Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing."

"Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?"

"I've earned that, Dean." Cas said, Dean scoffed. "I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask."

"You're asking me to stand down?"

"Dean."

"That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself. In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass." Dean walked away, and I could see him press his fist to his mouth, upset. Cas hesitated, then disappeared. He stopped walking, near the door. "I know you're hear." I hesitated, before standing up, revealing myself. "Better at hiding than most teens." He chuckled slightly, he was still visibly upset.

"Yea, suppose I am." I smiled a little at him, and he motioned with his head for me to come over. I did so, and he noticed I was a bit nervous around him still, afraid to upset him. He started walking to the door, I walked next to him.

"Look, I'm sorry." He started, as we stepped out of the garage. He stopped and faced me. "I know it's not your fault-"

"Dean, I'm not a little girl." I said, though I knew he was trying to be nice. "I know you're just trying to find Ben and Lisa. And I know you're not exactly happy with me because of the lack of information I've given you."

"Well, you do have reasons. And I should give you a little credit here." I cocked my head slightly. "You have given information. I wouldn't have thought about Balthazar- Sam might have, but not me. One question though. What is happening?"

"Well. I can tell you that." I smiled a little, Dean leaned against the Impala and I pulled myself up on the trunk, next to him. "Cas heard about Ben and Lisa, and went to go tell Crowley to let them go, but Crowley wouldn't budge. Towards the end, Balthazar called Cas, and Cas showed up for him. Balthazar asks straight up questions and isn't satisfied with Cas' answers. He'll be here soon. Oh, and Bobby's lead is going well. He's most likely found the one that had gotten out of Purgatory. A friend. You know her, she gave you the sword to kill the dragon-"

"Eleanor?"

"Yea. She's from Purgatory. She's not like any of the other creatures in Purgatory though. She likes Earth and doesn't want to see it go to hell. But yea. You'll find out more soon on that. Balthazar will come either today or tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure on timing. I think soon." He smiled a little and ruffled my hair.

"C'mon, lets go in." I nodded and hopped down, following Dean inside. Sam looked up when we came in, and smiled.

"Good to see you out of the garage." He commented. Dean nodded and flopped down onto the couch. It was getting dark, and it wasn't that bad. Dean and I were okay.

I sat on the floor near him, just glad he didn't hate me. I waited for Balthazar, and Dean got up to talk to Sam in the kitchen. I didn't bother listening this time, figuring it'd be stupid to eavesdrop again. When Dean came back in, he tapped my shoulder and Sam smiled a little.

"Sammy says you're pretty good with daggers." I smiled a little, nodding. He sat down next to me. "You'll have to show me."

Sam turned back into the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. I stood, gaining Dean's attention. I nodded and next thing I knew, Balthazar stood next to Sam.

"Drinking your feelings, Sam? I thought that was your brother's bag."

"Stressful times."

"Well, we need to talk."

"Why?"

"Because – I know I'm gonna live to regret this – but I'm officially on your team. You bastards."

"And we should believe you, why?" Dean asked, curious.

"Would you believe I had a shred of decency?"

"No." Sam answered simply.

"Oh. That hurts." Balthazar said, Sam raised his eyebrows. "Okay, you're right. It's survival. You see, I askedCas some questions and I disliked his answers. He seems awfully sure of himself for a man who wants to swallow a million nuclear reactors. I mean, these things can get a bit Chernobyl, you know? So, voilà. Consider me your double agent. Oh, and I took the liberty of searching for your friends. Uh, took a while. Crowley's a clever one."

"You found them?" Dean asked, glancing at me. I smiled a little.

"Well, the upside is yes, uh, the downside is no, I can't get them for you."

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"Because Crowley's angel-proofed the whole bloody building. I guess he doesn't trust Cas. Seems that marriage is going swimmingly."

"Okay, well get us as close as you can."

"Sure. But then you're on your own." Balthazar turned slightly, noticing me.

"Alright, lets go." Dean said.

"She..?" Balthazar asked, looking down at me.

"She's coming."

"Bit dangerous, for her, don't you think?"

"Want to babysit?" I frowned at Dean for his choice of words. "We can't leave her here, not alone."

"Why not?"

"She's different, and she doesn't need to be open to any of our enemies. So, you either watch her for us- keep her safe- or we take her with us."

He actually seemed to be contemplating it, then shrugged it off. "Right, off we go."

He teleported the four of us outside of the building Lisa and Ben were being held in.

"Alright, boys. This is where I get off. God be with you and what have you." He gave a small nod to me, and disappeared. A demon exited the building, the one keeping watch, it seemed. Dean stabbed him in the chest with Ruby's knife, and I could hear him groan as he died. Dean pushed the body over the gate to Sam, who left it on the ground. We entered the building, Sam carrying a shotgun, Dean carrying Ruby's knife and a duffel bag, and they'd given me a few daggers and a handgun. _Conceal them at your waist _Sam had instructed me, I followed every instruction I was given.

"Alright, be careful." Dean said, Sam and I nodded. "Elizabeth, go with Sam."

We split up, Sam and I going around a corner, he had his shotgun aimed, and I held the handgun. He heard a noise, and gasped, turning around. He shoved me back just as a demon jumped down and knocked him unconscious. They looked at me, on the ground, fear in my eyes. I was tempted to scream, or bolt, but something told me not to. One demon let go of Sam and grabbed me. The other dragged Sam and threw him in a room. Locking the door. I looked at the one pulling me, and kicked at him. It surprised him a bit, but the other was right on top of me, and together, they threw me into a room down the hall.

~~O~~

After finding Ben and Lisa, and going through shit with the demons, Dean carried Lisa, while Ben trailed behind. Inside a room, he finally heard Sam.

"Dean!"

"Sam?"

"I'm in here!" Dean put Lisa down, gently, and shot at the lock on the door. Sam came out.

"Come on, we gotta get to a hospital. Ben, give the gun to him. Sam, we need a ride." Dean paused. "Where's Elizabeth?"

"Sam! Dean! Down here!" I called, hoping they could hear me. Their voices trailed this far, hopefully mine would too. Closer, I heard gunshots, and my door was moved open. Sam stood, holding the rifle.

"Lets go." I nodded, following him out. I saw Dean carrying Lisa, and Ben looking afraid. We left the building, and in a minute, Sam pulled up in a stolen car. I sat next to Ben.

"Go, go, go, go." Dean looked at the blood on his hand, and Ben turned around, worried.

"She's fine, Ben. She's fine. She's gonna be just fine. Almost there." Dean said. "Hey, hey. Stay with me. Sam, you gotta go faster, man! You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be just fine."

I could see how much this hurt Ben, but I didn't know exactly what to say. I sighed and knew what I should.

"Ben, she is going to be alright. I promise." Dean looked up, I could tell I'd calmed his fears by saying that.

"How do you know?"

"Listen to her, Ben. She knows more than any of us combined." Dean said.

"And I promise she'll live." I added. Ben nodded slightly. I wasn't much older than him. I could see how I didn't calm many fears. Not long after, Lisa was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. She was hooked up to several breathing tubes and monitors. Dean and Ben sat on either side, and Dean looked to him.

"Ben, I'm sorry." He said. I sat out in the hallway, just outside the door, and Ben got up and left, stopping in front of me. I heard Dean say his name again.

"You told me she would live." I nodded.

"She will, Ben. Believe me."

Inside the room, I saw Cas appear. And I inched closer once more. Ben left me.

"What do _you _want?"

"Dean, listen."

"What do you want me to say? She'll be dead by midnight."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't care. It's too little, too late."

"Okay." Cas sighed. "Well, regardless, I didn't come for you."

"Meaning?" As Dean spoke, Cas walked up to Lisa and placed a hand on her forehead.

"She's fine now. She'll wake soon. Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it."

"Thank you." Dean was still upset. "I wished this changed anything."

"I know. So do I. All else aside, I just wanted to fix what I could." Cas began to walk away.

"There's one more thing you could do for me." Hearing that, I turned around, and soon after, Lisa was awake, Ben sitting on her bed.

"Hey, mom."

"Hey. What -?"

"You're in the hospital." Outside, Dean walked up to the door, watching.

"What happened?" She asked.

"We were in a car crash."

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm – I'm fine. You hit your head pretty bad, but you're okay now." Dean glanced at me before knocking and stepping in.

"Hi." He said. Lisa raised her eyebrows, not recognizing him.

"Who're you?" Ben asked.

"I, I'm Dean. Uh, I'm the guy who hit you."

"Oh." Lisa said quietly.

"I just, uh, I lost control for a minute, and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm real happy you two are both okay. And uh, I'm just – I'm glad your life can get back to normal now." Dean said, Lisa smiled.

"We're okay, so – so that's what's important, right?"

"Yeah. Anyway, uh, I'll leave you two alone." He looked one last time at Ben. "You take care of your mom."

Dean stepped back, and began to walk away, fighting tears. I got up quickly, following him, because I knew it was time to go. We walked down the stairs and across the street to the Impala. Sam stood on the other side of the car.

"Well?"

"Well nothing." Dean got into the car. Sam cleared his throat and got in, and sighed. I slid into the back seat.

"Dean, you know, you've pulled some shady crap before, but this -" Sam shook his head, and scoffed. "-has got to be the worst. Whitewashing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows-"

"If you ever mention Lisa and Ben to me again, I will break your nose."

"Dean."

"I'm not kidding."

Sam looked ready to protest, but Dean looked at him, obviously upset. Sam nodded and closed his door and we left. Bobby called not long after, and we met up with him a few towns over. He explained Eleanor as we walked down an alleyway.

"Where is she?" Dean asked. Bobby shrugged.

"She said to meet her here. I'll try her again." He took out his cellphone, dialing her number, and we heard the phone ringing nearby, on the ground next to a dumpster. We hurried over, and found Eleanor sitting on the ground, against the dumpster, hurt. Bobby knelt in front of her, while we stood around.

"El?"

"Hey. I guess I could've used your help after all."

"Just be still."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"They took me. I got away." She opened her coat, her shirt soaked with blood by her stomach.

"Oh, Ellie. What have they done to you?" She chuckled slightly.

"Everything. The demon I could've handled, but when the angel stepped in, I-" She sighed. "I told him, Bobby. They have enough to crack Purgatory wide open."

"Tell me. I need to know."

"They need virgin blood. That's a milk-run for them. And they need the blood of a Purgatory native, and well, they've got plenty of that now.

"Have they opened it yet?" Dean asked. She shook her head.

"Tomorrow. The moon – an eclipse. I'm sorry, Bobby."

"No, it's okay. It's okay." Bobby said.

"I'm sorry, really sorr-"

"Tell us where they are." Silence, I knew she had died. "El?" Bobby closed her eyes, and I whipped around, facing Cas who stood behind Sam and Dean.

"I'm sorry this had to happen." He said, Bobby stood. "Crowley got carried away."

"Yeah, I bet it was all Crowley you son of a bitch!" He tried to go after Castiel, but Sam and Dean restrained him, and he stepped back. Internally, I was screaming, though not a peep left me. I didn't want this to happen.

"You don't even see it, do you? How totally off the rails you are!" Dean spat at Cas.

"Enough! I don't care what you think. I've tried to make you understand. You won't listen. So let me make this simple. _Please_, go home and let me stop Raphael. I won't ask again."

"Well, good, 'cause I think you already know the answer." I shook my head at Dean, eyes wide with fear. He didn't see. Castiel shook his head.

"I wish it hadn't come to this. Well rest assured, when this is all over, I will save Sam, but only if you stand down."

"Save Sam from what?" Dean asked. Cas disappeared, and reappeared behind Sam, touching his temple. Sam collapsed and Cas disappeared. Dean and Bobby carried Sam to the car, and we drove to Bobby's. Quicker than I thought, we were in the Panic Room. Sam was unconscious on the bed, Dean watching over him.

"Sammy? Come on, snap out of it." I stood near the door, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself. "Elizabeth, what did Cas do?"

"He-he broke the wall." It was what Dean suspected, and now he knew for sure.

"Do you know what's happening in his head right now?" I nodded. I remembered this one often.

"He's figuring out who he is again. Finding out there is two more Sam's there. Soulless Sam, and Hell-Sam. He can't get out with out killing them. But killing them means he has to take it in. And soulless Sam is trying to kill him first." This made Dean a bit worried. "Dean, he won't be up for a bit, but he does win inside his head. He wins."

I sat beside the bed, Dean pacing around as Bobby entered.

"Anything?"

"I can't just sit here , Bobby. I've got to help him."

"Dean."

"You know, dreamscape his noggin. Something." I shook my head.

"You know what Cas did. The dam inside your brother's head is gone, and all hell's spilling loose. We don't know what's going on inside." Bobby hadn't heard, and Dean didn't tell.

"I don't care. We have got to do something!"

"And we will, but right now we got sixteen hours 'til they pop Purgatory. I'm down one man. I can't afford to be down two."

"Yeah, and how's that going, huh? We've got no line on Crowley. We got no line on Cas. Balthazar's MIA. I mean, all we've got is Sam, going through whatever the hell this is!"

"You know," Bobby started, turning a glass over and pouring a drink. "this is exactly what Cas wants. For you to fall to pieces. Just try to think of what Sam would want." He held out the drink and Dean paused before taking it. He glanced at me and I nodded.

"Find Cas, Bobby. Find him now."

Bobby left, and Dean opened Sam's eye and shined a flashlight on it.

"Stop!" I said. He looked over at me, confused.

"It was just night for him, now it's day. Now he's confused because the girl next to him will say it was always day. He's about to find soulless Sam, and he hardly knows how to use his weapons."

I leaned over the bed, and Sam began to convulse.

"Sammy! Sam!" He laid a hand on Sam's chest, and he went still. "What the hell was that?"

"He beat soulless Sam." I said, simply. Dean went and grabbed a glass of whiskey, sitting near Sam.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Bobby said, standing with Balthazar outside the door of the Panic Room. Dean got up.

"Well, at least you mudfish finally got the angel-proofing right." Balthazar pointed to Sam. "How's sleeping Beauty? You didn't steal any kisses, I trust?"

"What the hell took you so long?" Dean began to walk up to Balthazar, Bobby stood a step behind Dean.

"Honestly? I was having second thoughts."

"About?"

"About whether to help you. I was thinking maybe… Maybe I should rip out your sticky bits instead."

"And what did you decide?" Bobby asked.

"Well…" He pulled out a piece of paper handing it to Dean. "Cas and Crowley are there. That's where the show gets started." Dean opened the paper, showing it to Bobby.

"Alright, well give us a minute to pack up and then zap us there." Dean said.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so."

"Balthazar."

"I'm betraying a friend here. A very powerful friend. We all are. So I think I've stuck my neck out far enough. Good luck." He disappeared, and I shrugged. Dean wrote the address for Sam, leaving it near him.

I went with Dean and Bobby, and on the drive out, I got a nervous feeling. I mumbled, and Bobby turned to me.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Balthazar."

"What about him?" I sighed, and looked at my hands.

"Castiel kills him." I heard them sigh, but we were already pulling up. Outside the car, Bobby looked through binoculars at the guards standing around the building.

"I count a dozen mooks, probably more." Bobby said.

"Demons?"

"Angels."

"Well how the hell are we gonna take out that many angels?"

"We don't. We'll ninja our way in."

"Awesome. Yeah, 'til they hear your knee squeak."

"Shut up."

"Oh, what, now you got thin skin?"

"No, shut up. You hear that?" I listened, and I could hear the loud repetitive booming sound, almost like giant footsteps. Dean and Bobby listened too, and turned around.

"What the hell is that?" He saw the ripples in a puddle. "T-Rex maybe?" The noise got louder, and finally Bobby looked up.

"Holy mother of -" the large demon smoke approached quickly.

"Get in the car! Get in the car!" We ran back to the Impala. Dean got up front, I joined him, and Bobby took the back. It flipped the car upside down, and continued towards the building.

"Bobby." Dean had regained consciousness, slightly after I had, I rubbed my head. And he glanced at me, making sure I was okay. "Bobby?" Bobby woke up. "Come on, we gotta go."

We entered the room, standing at the top of the stairs.

"Quarum ungulae et dentes, nunquam tetigerunt carnem humanam." Crowley had already begun. Dean threw an angel killing sword at Raphael, and with his back turned Raphael caught it. He and Crowley turned to look at us. Telekinetically, Crowley threw us down the stairs, I yelped slightly. Dean landed on a table before he was thrown to the ground. He groaned.

"Bit busy, gentleman," As an after thought he added. "child. Be with you in a moment…. Aperit fauces eius ad mundum nostrum, nunc, ianua magna aperta tandem!" Nothing happened. "Mm-hmmm. Maybe I said it wrong."

Castiel appeared behind them, holding an empty jar of blood. "You said it perfectly. All you needed was this." He put the jar down, Dean and Bobby got up, Dean helped me up.

"I see." Crowley walked over to the wall, touching the blood. "And we've been working with…" He tasted it and I wrinkled my nose. "Dog blood. Naturally."

"Enough of these games, Castiel. Give us the blood." Raphael stated.

"You- Game's over. His jar's empty. So, Castiel, how'd your ritual go? Better than ours, I'll bet."

Cas closed his eyes, and a bright light came from him, filling the room. All of us shielded our eyes. The light faded away.

"You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls."

"Sounds sexy. Exit stage Crowley." Crowley disappeared, and Raphael looked frightened.

"Now, what's the matter, Raphael? Somebody clip your wings?"

"Castiel, please. You let the demon go, but not your own brother?"

"The demon I have plans for. You on the other hand…." Cas snapped his fingers, and I felt myself cringe and Raphael exploded, the angel killing sword fell to the ground. "So, you see, I saved you."

"Sure thing, Cas. Thank you." Dean said.

"You doubted me, fought against me, but I was right all along."

"Okay, Cas, you were. We're sorry. Now let's just defuse you, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're full of nuke. It's not safe. So, before the eclipse ends, let's get them souls back to where they belong."

"Oh no, they belong with me."

"No, Cas, it's it-it's scrambling your brain."

"No, I'm not finished yet. Raphael had many followers, and I must punish them all severely."

"Listen to me. Listen, I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you… Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all." I leaned against the wall, nervous.

"You're just saying that because I won. Because you're afraid." Behind him, I saw Sam pick up the angel killing sword. "You're not my family, Dean. I have no family."

Sam stabbed Castiel in the back with the angel killing sword. Sam groaned, and nothing happened. Cas pulled the sword out, no blood on it, and put it down.

"I'm glad you made it, Sam. But the angel blade won't work, because I'm not an angel anymore." I slid down the wall, knees up to my chest. "I'm your new god. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord. Or I shall destroy you."


	6. Mercy doesn't show

_Sorry for the later update, I wanted to go rewatch the episode to check some things. Anyways, hope you enjoy. (This would be from Season 7, episode 1 Meet The New Boss) ~Lissa _

~~O~~

Castiel stared at Dean and Bobby, waiting, as Sam staggered behind him. After a moment, Bobby got on his knees. I kept myself still against the wall, silent, frightened.

"Well, all right then. Is this good, or do you want the whole "forehead to the carpet" thing?" Bobby asked, then to Dean he said "Guys?" Sam and Dean began to kneel.

"Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear." He glanced around.

"Cas..." Sam started.

"Sam, you have nothing to say to me; you stabbed me in the back. Get up." I got up, along with them, and made my quickly over to Dean, staying behind him.

"Cas, come on, this isn't you." Dean said clearly.

"The Castiel you knew is gone."

"So what, then? Kill us?"

"What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless, you wouldn't dare move against me again. That would be pointless. So I have no need to kill you. Not now. Besides...once you were my favorite pets before you turned and bit me." His voice irritated me. It wasn't the Castiel we knew. It was the one I'd seen, and it was the one I actually forced myself to give up on.

"Who are you?" Dean asked, he was pissed, and upset.

"I'm God. And if you stay in your place, you may live in my kingdom. If you rise up, I will strike you down. Not doing so well, are you Sam?" I looked over to Sam.

"I'm fine..." He cleared his throat, and tried again. "I'm...fine."

"You said you would fix him – you promised!" Dean barked.

"_If_ you stood down, which you hardly did. Be thankful for my mercy." His eyes flicked towards Sam. "I could have cast you back into the pit."

"Cas, come on, this is nuts! You can turn this around, please!"

"I hope for your sake this is the last you see me." Cas disappeared, and I didn't leave a minute hanging before moving quickly over to Sam. Even then I didn't make it in time, his nose began to bleed.

"Sam, you okay?" Dean asked. Sam fell just as I was reaching him, I hit the ground, trying to help. I held him up, slightly, the blood coming off his hand. I'd cut my leg sliding over glass, but I didn't care. I held Sam, as Dean and Bobby made there way to get him.

~~O~~

In Bobby's yard, Dean laid on his back inside the Impala, his boots pressed against the roof. I sat nearby, on the ground playing with the fabric that wrapped my leg. It wasn't severely deep, but it wasn't small. I didn't care much for it, it was suffocating, and I was ready to rip it off. It'd scab over soon, so I'd just have to wait.

"Come on." He grunted, I listened to the sound of groaning metal as he tried to push the dented roof out with his feet. "Come on, baby!"

"So, you fixin' her or primal screamin'?" Dean pulled himself from the Impala, accepting a beer from Bobby.

"Ah, thanks. How's Sam?"

"He's still under. But alive."

"Yeah? What about God part deux?"

"I got all kinds of feelers out, so far diddly."

"And what exactly are you looking for?"

"Exactly. What? Miracles, mass visions, trenchcoat on a tortilla? I don't know what I'm lookin' for."

"Ah, well he'll surface."

"So say we do suss out where "new and improved" flew off to..."

"Yeah?"

"The hell we plan to do about it?"

"I don't know, Bobby, I got no more clue than you do."

"I don't even know what books to hit for this, Dean."

"Well, figure it out!" He sighed." I'm sorry. This ain't in no book. If you stick your neck out, Cas steps on it. So you know what I'm gonna do?"

I got up and stormed away. I knew their conversation would be over soon, but I wasn't in the mood for it. Cas wasn't that bad, but I knew at the moment anything I said about him wouldn't be welcome. I turned back, glancing, and Dean was pounding the Impala roof with a mallet. I went inside and sat down in the living room, Dean entered from the back door. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and I smiled at Sam as he came in.

"Hey Dean."

"Ah, you're walking and talking."

"Yeah. I, uh, put on my own socks, the whole nine."

"Well, that's uh... I mean you, uh, you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. My head hurts a little, but... basically."

"Seriously?"

"Look man, I'm as surprised as you are but, yeah, I swear."

"Good! No reason putting a gift horse under a microscope, right?" Dean glanced at me, I shrugged a little, half nodding and half shaking my head.

"Yeah. So what happened with Cas?"

"Why don't you come help me with the car, I'll fill you in?"

"Okay."

Dean left through the back door, Sam began to follow, hesitating slightly. He looked around nervously, and I got up and went to him.

"Chains?" I said. He nodded. "They aren't there Sam."

"How did you know then?"

"The show."

"You knew..._ this_ would happen?" He looked at me, though still nervous. I sighed.

"Yes, I knew, but I knew it had to happen sooner or later. Cas lost his marbles, and now you are going to have a hard time. But Sam, it's not real, okay?" He hesitated and nodded again. I began to walk to the back door. "C'mon."

~~O~~

I was upstairs, and I saw Sam go down into the basement. After a minute I knew what was happening.

"Bobby!" I called.

"Yea?" He came around the corner, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Get Sam, he's downstairs." Bobby looked at me, and went to the basement.

"Hey Sam! What are you, taking a nap down here?" He went down the stairs, paused for a moment. "It's Cas, we think. Come on."

"Yeah..coming." I heard Sam answer. Bobby came back up and his eyes dug into mine as he walked past me into the kitchen, where the news was playing.

"The sudden deaths of some 200 religious leaders are currently under investigation. The Vatican has yet to issue a statement, but some are already calling this an act of God." The TV Announcer was saying, we stood around, watching. A woman was being interviewed outside the church.

"We all saw him. No beard, no robe. He was young...and...and sexy. He had a raincoat." She said, Dean shut the TV off.

"Cas?" He asked me. I nodded. "Why?"

"He knows, he just-he doesn't realize he's doing wrong. There are souls inside him that should never have left Purgatory. They were put there for a reason, and Cas swallowed them. He isn't going to have control much longer." I sighed. "Cas will come down, and he'll need you to be there for him."

"I'm not going to be." Dean said gruffly.

"Yes you are." I said, keeping the tone of my voice firm. "You have to be, otherwise all those souls from Purgatory will be free. You _have_ to help him." Dean sighed, and went outside. I looked out the of the door, he was working on the window while listening to the radio announcer.

"Believed to be target hits high up in white-supremacy organizations. The FBI now believes the Ku Klux Klan has been forced to disband." They were saying.

"Can't argue with that one." Dean muttered, still working. He was still out there when night rolled around. He was working under the Impala's hood.

"A freak lighting strike on the heels of the fire that burned down the center for Vibrational Enlightenment earlier today. Said a spokesman, "this tragedy represents the largest loss in New Age motivational speaker history"." The radio announcer said.

"Motivational speakers?" Sam asked, I ran my hand over my face, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Yea, I'm not sure new Cas gets irony any better than old Cas. Of course, old Cas wouldn't smite Madison Square Garden just to prove a point. He is off the deep end of the deep end. And there is no slowing down." Dean said.

"So, what? Try to talk to him again?"

"Sam."

"Dean, all we can do is talk to the guy."

"He's not a guy. He's God. And he's pissed. And when God gets righteous, you get the hell out of the way; haven't you read the Bible?"

"I guess..."

"Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he used us, he cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk; we have spent enough on him."

"Okay."

"Hand me that socket wrench."

I didn't bother watching. I hated hearing that come from his mouth, but yet I knew it had to be said. I knew how it would turn out, but they didn't. I sighed and sipped the Coke Bobby had brought out for me. Later, I was inside with Sam, he was reading a book when he fell asleep. I watched him, sitting closer to calm him when he woke. What was it this time? I couldn't remember exactly what happened every time he hallucinated. He woke up, startled.

"Dean... Bobby?" I stood, so he could see me. "E-Elizabeth."

"It's alright, Sam." I said.

"I-I know, just a-just a dream." He answered. I nodded. He looked around. "Where's Dean and Bobby?"

"Garage." He looked at me, and I jerked my head towards the door. "C'mon."

"You go ahead. I'll be a minute." I nodded, sighing, and went out to the garage. Dean had the windows covered, getting ready to paint the Impala.

"How is that kid even vertical? I mean, Cas broke his damn pinata." Bobby was saying as I entered.

"I know." Dean said, turning back to the Impala.

"I mean, I get how he came to help us back at the lab. Adrenaline. Sure, but now?" Dean began to tape the Impala's antenna.

"Well.. he says he's okay."

"How?"

"I don't know. I just pray to God it's true."

"We need to come up with a new saying for that." I stood next to Dean, watching.

"Seriously though, Bobby. Look at our lives. How many more hits can we take? So, if Sam says he's good...Good."

"You believe that?"

"Yeah." Dean hesitated though. "No. You wanna know why? Because we never catch a break. So why would we this time? I just..just this one thing. You know? But I'm not dumb. I'm not going to get my hopes up just to get kicked in the daddy-pills again." Sam came out, though I knew he'd heard. He startled Dean and Bobby though.

"Hey."

"Hey." Bobby replied. "How are you feeling, sport?"

"Can't complain."

"Great. What's the word?" Dean asked.

"Well, a publishing house literally exploded about an hour ago. The guy has a body count that's really getting up there. We gotta do something."

"What we've got to do is hunt the son of a bitch. Unfortunately, I lost my God guns." I rolled my eyes, jokingly, at Bobby's comment.

"Well, I mean is there some kind of heavenly weapon? Maybe something out of that angel arsenal that Balthazar stole? There has to be something that can hurt him." I turned to Dean, his eyes flicked to me, he seemed to hold his breath before speaking again.

"He's God, Sam. There's nothing," He was still watching me though, his eyes narrowed slightly, for a split second, and he cocked his head. "but there might be someone."

Bobby and Sam looked at me, too. I bit my lip, Bobby came around the car, and now the three stood around me. I felt small, but I let the confidence build up inside me. I took a deep breath, and smiled some. I closed my eyes, and even though I tried confidence, my voice wasn't as loud as I wanted.

"Crowley, first. Death after."

"What?" Sam looked bewildered.

"Trust me. Crowley can tell the way to bind Death-"

"Like Lucifer?" Dean interrupted. I nodded.

"Yea, and then we get Death." They seemed uncertain, but I knew they'd do it. Dean knew I was right. He left the Impala as it was, and we all went back inside the house. Dean made the Devil's trap and I stood off to the side, hiding myself behind Sam. Bobby lit a match and threw it into the bowl, where it erupted into a huge flame. Crowley appeared in the Devil's trap, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"No. No! NO!" He grimaced. "Come on!"

"Don't act so surprised." Bobby said.

"My new boss is going to kill me for even talking to you lads."

"Well, you're lucky we're not stabbing you in your scuzzy face, you little piece..." Dean was cut of by Sam.

"Whoa, wait! What new boss?"

"Castiel, you giraffe."

"Is your boss?" Bobby asked.

"Is everybody's boss. What do you think he's gonna do if he finds out we've been conspiring? You do want to conspire, don't you?"

"No. We want you to just stand there and look pretty." I couldn't help but chuckle quietly, and I caught Crowley's attention. He looked to me, then back to Bobby.

"Listening."

"We need a spell to bind Death." Dean said.

"Bind? Enslave Death? You having a laugh?" Crowley didn't know whether they were joking or not, but I shook my head sternly at him.

"Lucifer did it."

"That's Lucifer."

"A spell's a spell." Sam added.

"You really believe you can handle that kind of horsepower? You're delusional!"

"Death is the only player on the board left that has the juice to take Cas." Dean said.

"They'll both mash us like peas. Why should I help with a suicide mission?"

"Look! Do you really want Cas running the universe?" Bobby added, Crowley looked down, pouring himself another drink. He didn't look willing to comply.

"Crowley." I said, drawing everyone's attention. I realized I didn't talk much unless I thought it important. "Look, you do this, I promise you'll live."

"And how would you know that? Your just some awkward, quiet girl these two found."

"Dammit, Crowley. Will you listen?" I was close to yelling, and I took a deep breath. "I can promise you live and you think it's just a joke."

"I don't trust teenagers."

"I can tell." I glared, taking a step closer, and Sam stepped between us.

"Crowley, believe her. If she says it, it's true." He said, facing Crowley. He sighed heavily, and that's when I backed down. He'd given in, according to his body language.

"Let him go." I said. Sam contorted his face, confused. So did the others. I walked up to Crowley, whispering harshly into his ear, he grumbled back at me quietly, and I broke the devil's trap, he disappeared not a minute after.

"The hell was that?" Dean asked, slightly angered. "He didn't give us anything, and for all we know he could go and tattle to Cas!"

"He won't. He doesn't like being told what to do. Trust me, we'll have the spell tomorrow." I turned on my heels and went outside, even though it was dark, I didn't want to face them at the moment. I heard Sam call after me, and I wondered if he was going to come out. He did come out, though after about twenty minutes. I was sitting on the ground, looking up at the star filled sky. Sam sat down, instead of dragging me back inside.

"We do trust you, you do know that right?" He asked. I nodded, of course I knew they trusted me, how much- I wasn't so certain. He paused, seeming to contemplate speaking. I still hadn't looked over to him, my gaze focused on the stars. "Liz, you know what I am seeing, don't you?"

I hesitated for a brief second then nodded. I'm going to tell them if they asked. I'm sick of holding my mouth shut for the right moment, but only if they asked.

"What's happening?" He asked. His voice was childlike and quiet.

"Hallucinations." I answered simply. "It's hell without the fire."

He nodded briefly, and from the corner of my eye, I could see him looking towards the house. "Should I tell Dean?"

"When you're ready, you'll tell him." I answered. He was quiet, and I sighed, turning to face him at last. "But Sam, it is going to get worse, you do know that, right?"

"Yea..kinda figured. Like Dean said, never can catch a break." He wasn't confident tonight, and I hated seeing him down.

"I'm going to say this now, and hope you remember." He cocked his head, looking at me. "Use pain to your advantage. It'll help."

He looked doubtful, which I understood. He didn't move, as he fixed his gaze at the sky. After a few moments, his face contorted with confusion. He looked around, nervously.

"There is no laughing. There are no chains. Sam. It's just me." I said, keeping my voice steady, so he'd have something to hold on to and maybe pull himself out. After a minute he took a deep breath and sighed, pulling himself to his feet. I got up and dusted off my pants. "You okay?"

"Yea," He nodded. "Lets-lets just go in."

I nodded and followed him inside, stopping for a moment thinking I'd felt as if something or someone was behind me. But facing the yard, there was silence. I frowned and moved quickly inside. I'd rather there was noise out there, because feeling _that_ suggested something was wrong, and no noise meant it was true, that or I was getting a bit skittish. Dean stood at the doorway, watching me. I could feel the silent questions, _why did you turn around? What's wrong with Sammy? Can things ever be normal? _I knew only one answer for those. But again, even then I wasn't so sure.

When I had watched the show, I didn't know what was real, or what was fake. I had seen what Sam would see, and I knew things weren't good. I was terrified. I didn't care what anyone thought, I was absolutely terrified. No. I _am_ terrified. Dean was still watching me as I moved around him. I wasn't sure what I was going to say anymore. I'd already messed things up, and tomorrow they'd know about Leviathan.

That night, I couldn't sleep. Sam and Dean were in the room, Sam on his laptop, Dean flipping through more journals trying to scrounge up anything that might be of use. I didn't bother hiding the fact I was awake. I simply sat up, thinking to myself, wondering if I'd ever be back home, if I'd ever have my bed back. It scared me to think I'd never go back, but at this point I didn't know. Here, I'd never be normal, not to mention I'm still underage, so I can't just go now anyways. If I left, I'd probably have to be a foster teen. Not what I wanted. Oh, and the fact that if the Winchester's enemies find out about me they can use me against them, which I really hated the thought of. Being used as a weapon was not on my agenda for any day.

I decided to grab a journal of a shelf, and find out some things, that I wouldn't be able to back home. Well, I'd be able to, it'd just be difficult, compared to all this being in open access. I flipped through the pages, aware of every little sound. None of us spoke, but after awhile I wondered if I should sleep. I thought against it, and glanced up at Sam. He was tense, but it seemed he was trying to brush it off. Everything about this place made me worry, not for me, for them.

Morning came at its own pace, and by then we'd all moved in some way. I sat at the table, and so did Sam, Dean had taken the couch after I'd vacated. He looked like he was trying to relax, but evidently it wasn't working to well. He'd been unsure, but I didn't let it bother me. I mean, he was kinda like this in the show, though never directly to me like now. The sun rose, and it lit up the house. Bobby walked down the stairs, flipping through the mail, I heard the door open, and I knew Crowley had done his part. I didn't hide the smug look that crept onto my face. He entered the room.

"It's from Crowley." Opening the thin package, revealing an old page.

"Well, who feels like hog tying death tonight?" Dean asked.

"Old age is over-rated anyhow." Bobby said, and I sighed. I didn't move from my spot, and about half an hour or more later, Bobby had finally spoken.

"Well, we've got most of this stuff, but we're going to have to make a run for a few things."

"Like?" Dean asked.

"Like an act of God crystallized forever."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Thinkin' it means an actual crystal. See, lightning strikes sand at the right angle – it crystallizes into the perfect shape of itself."

"Lightning. Act of God."

"Jenga, you go yourself a fulgurate and we're gonna need a biggie."

"And let me guess...rare." Dean frowned.

"I found records of an auction. Winning bidder lives about nine hours from here." Bobby said, looking hopeful.

We drove, the Impala looking pretty damn good. I grinned, and I heard Dean cut the engine as we pulled up. It was dark, once again. Bobby and Sam went directly to the door to work it open. I stayed back with Dean.

"Hey!" A security guard said, directed towards them, Dean turned the corner of the bush.

"Excuse me. You got any Grey Poupon?" And like that, Dean smacked the guard square in the face with the but of his gun. I grinned.

"Grey Poupon? Seriously?" Sam asked, though I sensed amusement.

"It's what popped in my head."


	7. Deathly afraid

We crept through the house, flashlights blazing before us. We split up, Bobby and Sam, Dean and I. I nodded at Sam as we took different directions. Dean moved quietly, and before I knew it, the crystallized lightning was in front of us, he reached his hands onto the case, and we froze at the sound of a gun being cocked. Spinning around, we faced the gun, looking at the two. A man and a woman, both seeming a mixture of nerves and fear.

"Hi. Uh...I don't want to hurt you. Really."

"I'm the one with the firearm, son."

"I get that." Dean looked smug, as he managed to flip the gun from the man's hands. I watched, silently beside him. He had me help him tie the two down.

"Okay. Yeah. Good." He said, finishing up. Bobby and Sam came in, and flashed weary looks at the two tied up. "Hey, guys. Uh, so this is Dr. and Mrs. Weiss."

"Hi. Sorry." Sam said.

"I found the God thingy."

"Well, let's light this candle." Bobby sighed. They taught me how to help them set up, but as I didn't want to mess up markings yet, I moved furniture. They crushed the crystallized lightning, and I saw the Weiss' wince. Soon, Bobby had a knife to Dean's arm, drawing blood.

"You're welcome." Dean said sarcastically. Once finished, Sam stood in front of the Weiss', blocking them from seeing everything set up. He gave a short nod to Bobby.

"Te nunc invoco, mortem." Things began to shake, and I felt my knees go weak. I looked to Dean and Sam before remembering it'd be alright. I took a few deep breaths, noticing Bobby look at the falling books, and I heard the breaking of glass. "Te in mea potestate defixi. Nunc et in aeternum!"

Looking around, glass was everywhere, the ceiling was cracked and it took a minute before things stopped shaking. Dean walked up where Bobby had been standing and looked around.

"Um... Hello? Death?"

"You're joking." He looked annoyed, though I didn't blame him.

"I'm sorry, Death. This isn't what it seems."

"Seems like you bound me." He raised his arms, revealing a sort of magical hidden chain.

"For good reason, okay? Just, uh, hear us out. Um... Fried pickle chip? They're the best in the state." Dean walked over, picking up the bag.

"That easy to sooth me, you think? This is about Sam's hallucinations, I assume?" I felt a knot in my stomach, as all turned to look at Sam.

"What?" Dean asked, confused and a bit upset.

"Sorry, Sam. One wall per customer. Now unbind me." He raised his arms, and I frowned.

"We can't. Y-yet." Sam answered.

"This isn't going to end well." Death looked rather weird, to me. Classy, but strange.

"Sassy much?" I muttered, not knowing if anyone could hear, and not really caring.

"We need you to kill God." Dean said, straight forward.

"Pardon?"

"Kill God. You heard right. Your...Honor." Bobby said, Death's eyes glued to him.

"What makes you think I can do that?"

"You told me." Dean answered, simply. Death's eyes moved to Dean, and his head seemed to follow.

"Why _should_ I?" Death asked, Dean's mouth moved for a few seconds, not speaking, and I could see his head spinning.

"Because...We said so, and we're the boss of you. I mean...Respectfully." I frowned, wishing Dean hadn't said that. It seemed wrong for anyone to be the boss of Death. I wasn't looking at them, though. I'd turned, behind Sam, and looked at Cas. He scared me, looking helpless. His vessel was damaged.

"Amazing." Cas said, drawing the attention of the others.

"Cas." Sam said, it sounded like a whisper.

"I didn't want to kill you, but now.."

"You can't kill us." Dean said.

"You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean." I winced, seeing Cas pull his fingers into a snapping position. His voice was hitting my nerves, it was cocky, confident, and...and not Cas.

"Death is our bitch. We ain't gonna die, even if God pulls the trigger."

"Annoying little protozoa, aren't they?" Cas was looking directly at Death, and he looked back-utterly calm. "'God'. You look awfully like a mutated angel to me. Your vessel's melting. You're going to explode."

"No, I'm not. When I've finished my work, I'll repair myself."

"You think you can because you think you're simply under the weight of all those souls, yes? But that's not the worst problem. There are things much older than souls in Purgatory, and you gulped those in, too."

"Irrelevant. I control them."

"For the moment." I watched Dean look back and forth between the two.

"Wait- uh, what older things?" Death's head picked up, turning towards Dean.

"Long before God created Angel and Man, he made the first beasts – the Leviathans." Dean and Sam's eyes both shot to me.

"Leviathans?" Dean asked. It was more for confirmation.

"I personally found them entertaining, but he was concerned they'd chomp the entire petri dish, so he locked them away. Why do you think he created Purgatory? To keep those clever, poisonous things out. Now Castiel has swallowed them. He's the one thin membrane between the old ones and your home." I was watching as Cas' eyes lingered on the floor before raising to meet Death's.

"Enough."

"Stupid little soldier you are."

"Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place." Cas lessened the gap between him and Death.

"Service? Settling petty vendettas?"

"No. I'm cleaning up one mess after another- selflessly." Cas was frustrated. Death was...amused. Death's eyes flicked to Dean.

"Quite the humanitarian." Cas had an answer directly on Death's heels.

"And how would you know? What are you, really? A flyswatter?"

"Destined to swat you, I think." I smirked, I found this actually quite amusing. Death versus Castiel, though the other three looked stiff-petrified.

"Unless I take you first." Cas was still, but Death glanced toward Bobby, Sam and I, speaking as he turned.

"Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas. I know God, and you, sir, are no God."

"All right, put your junk away, both of you. Look, call him what you want. Just kill him now!" Dean said, Cas turned slowly, and I could see guilt in Dean's eyes. He wanted his friend, and I knew it hurt. Death raised his arm

"All right, fine." He said. Without looking Cas snapped his fingers and the chain was gone. "Thank you. Shall we kickbox now?" Cas turned towards him, his eyes strict. "I had a tingle I'd be reaping someone very, very soon." He made his way over to the chair, sitting and grabbing the bag. Dean had backed away. Death looked to the two tied up. "Don't worry- not you." A moment after looking in the bag, he looked up. "Well, he was in a hurry."

The others didn't move, but I did. Surprising everyone, even myself, as I leaned against the table near Death.

"Death." I said softly, he looked over to me, and somehow his eyes weren't as icy as they were earlier.

"Elizabeth, I presume." I nodded. "Word traveled fast, that the Winchesters had picked up one that knew the future of many, including themselves."

"Oh." I was slightly afraid, but not of him.

"I'm guessing you told them to do this." I nodded again.

"Yes, sir." I said softly, deciding to be polite with him.

"Well. Best not to disappoint." I smiled a little, and he picked up the drink.

"Ahh." He slurped. He was interesting.

"Um..." Dean said quietly. Death balled up a napkin, looking straight forward.

"Shut up, Dean. I'm not here to tie your shoes every time you trip. I warned you about those souls how long ago? Long enough to stop that fool and here we are again, with your little planet on the edge of immolation." He stood, and paused.

"Well, I'm sorry. All right? I've been trying to save this planet, so maybe you should find somebody better to tip off." His voice was gravely.

"Maybe I should spend my effort on a better planet. Well, it's been amusing." I knew he was ready to go.

"Wait, h-hold on, hold on. Just- can you give us something? You- you have to care a little bit about what happens to us." Sam said, Death halted.

"You know, I really don't. But I do find that little angel...arrogant."

"Great. Let's go with that." Dean answered.

"Your only hope is to have him return it all to Purgatory. Quickly."

"We need a door." Sam said.

"You have everything you need at that lab. Get him to return there and compel him to give up the power."

"Compel?"

"_Figure it out._" Damn, Death really wasn't one to ask favors from.

"But that door only opens in the eclipse, and that's over." Bobby said, disappointed.

"I'll make another. 3:59 Sunday morning, just before dawn. Be punctual." His eyes burned through Dean. "Don't thank me. Clean up your mess. Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start. Nice pickle chips, but the way." And he left. Nobody spoke on the drive back, but my heart raced faster. Back at Bobby's, I was at the table with Dean.

"So, you're saying the _Leviathans_ are managing to take control of Cas?" I didn't say much, though I nodded. He frowned, poured himself a drink and opened the computer.

"You want some coffee with that?" Sam asked, entering the room.

"It's 6:00 pm somewhere."

"We got to hit the road. I mean, how are we supposed to get Cas to that lab by friggin' 3:59 am?"

"We don't."

"What do you mean, 'We don't'?"

"I mean, we can't bring the horse to water, and we can't make it drink. Why fool ourselves?"

"Dean, look, I know you think that Cas is gone-"

"It's 'cause he is."

"He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't." Dean looked pretty smug at this point, I wanted to smack him. "But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and you never gave up on _me_."

"Yeah, and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?" I saw him look at me, too. Accusing.

"What was I supposed to do?" Sam asked, quietly.

"How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?"

"Why? You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and-and I thought- what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control."

"What?" Dean answered, snappy. "What, exactly, is under control?"

"I know what's real and what's not."

"Sam-"

"Dean, look, we can debate this once we deal with Cas."

"Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my piehole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is. Hey. You got to be kidding me. "Massacre at the campaign office of an incumbent Senator by a trench-coated man." There's security footage." I didn't move from where I sat, but Sam and Dean watched, and I frowned. The smile Cas had given the security camera. That was etched into my mind forever. "Well, I think reaching Cas is, uh...out of the cards."

Sam frowned and left, and I stood and faced Dean. I hadn't realized I'd been furious, and crying until that moment. Staring at him until he finally turned to look at me, his gaze softening.

"Fuck you." I said, stiffly, his eyebrows furrowed together. "Don't you give up on Cas like that. Don't you dare do that to him."

"Liz-"

"No, Dean. I told you not to turn your back on Cas. I told you he'd need you and I told you that you had to help. And dammit Dean, you need to help him. I didn't come here by choice. I didn't want to ever live this, I'd seen it on television and it hurt. Now it's worse, because it's real and it's right in front of me, and all your doing is sitting on your ass, sulking."

"I'm not sulking-"

"You are! You're drinking. You're acting immature. Death told you to clean up your messes. And yes, Sam didn't tell you about his hallucinations, but you know what, as of right now it is under control, and I'd take advantage of those moments, because soon it's going to be harder to control. And the Leviathan won't be much help, either. So get off your damn ass and do something!" I was screaming, my face hot with tears. "Do something!"

I searched his eyes, he was surprised, and seemed to be thinking of something to say. I spun on my heels."Elizabeth!" He called, as I ran out of the house. I heard him pound the table, but didn't care to look back. I kept running. I didn't want to look back. Not now. Not ever.

"Liz?" Sam called out, he jogged over, stopping me in my path. "Liz, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." I said quietly, sniffling. "Do me a favor? Call Cas. Now."

He hesitated, and nodded, squeezing my shoulders. He trying to calm me, as he spoke.

"Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please." He looked around, and sighed. I whispered a small thank you, though he looked doubtful. He glanced at me. "Coming in?"

I sighed, and nodded. He led me back into the house, I was calm, still crying softly though. Dean was pouring himself another drink, I frowned. He was watching his cartoon porn. He held a glass up to Sam.

"Only if you turn that off." Sam said, Dean shut the computer and slid the glass across the table, looking up. Sam sat in the chair, and they clanked their glasses, I slid down to the floor beside him. I was watching the doorway.

"Sam?" Cas said, weary. Sam and Dean looked startled.

"Cas." Sam answered.

"I heard your call. I need help." He leaned against the door frame, his coat was splattered with blood. Dean rubbed his face and nodded, running upstairs to get Bobby. He came down quickly, and we all made our way to the Impala, Cas joining. Bobby and Dean sat up front, while Cas, Sam and I were in back. He was silent, and weak. I couldn't help but looking at him. His skin was damaged, and I couldn't imagine much worse. We made it to the lab quickly, getting inside as fast as possible. Cas wasn't able to stand much longer, and so we sat him down against a metal cart.

"We need the right blood. There's a small jar – end of the hall, s-supply closet." Cas said.

"Got it." Sam replied, leaving. Cas was quiet, listening to Dean.

"Dean?"

"What, you need something else?"

"No. I feel regret, about you and what I did to Sam." He said, his words were interrupted by his breathing.

"Yeah, well, you should."

"If there was time, if I was strong enough, I'd-I'd fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die."

"Okay."

"Is it working?"

"Does it make you feel better?"

"No. You?"

"Not a bit."

Cas sighed and turned away. I thought of what was going to happen. I knew it wouldn't be good, no matter what, and no matter who. Cas was looking at me, his eyes softer.

"Elizabeth?" He said quietly, I went and knelt next to him. "You said he forgives me."

"He does, Cas. He does."

"I don't see much forgiveness."

"Cas, he will forgive you. Just wait and see." Bobby checked the time, and laid a hand on Cas' shoulder.

"Hang in there. Just a couple of minutes." He moved towards Dean, speaking in a hushed voice. "Where's Sam? It's go time."

Dean sighed, and looked at Cas, then rushed out of the room. He came back within minutes, looking tense. They got right to work painting the blood onto the wall.

"That's good enough. Okay, step right up, Cas." They helped Cas stand up in front of the wall.

"Ianua magna purgatorii, clausa est ob nos lumine eius ab obculis nostris retento sed nunc stamus ad limen huius ianuae magnae et demisse fideliter perhonorifice paramus aperire eam" Cas fell slightly, but Dean pulled him back up, leaving an arm stretched out to him in case he feel once more, he faced the wall, unsteady before turning to look at Dean.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Creaturae terrificae quarum ungulae et dentes nunquam tetigerunt carnem eius ad mundum nostrum nunc ianua magna, aperta tandem!" Bobby finished. The wall began to cave in on itself, breaking, and a bright light burst from Cas. I could hear the souls howling as the slid their way back into Purgatory. It didn't last too long, and Cas fell to the ground right after.

"Cas?" Dean knelt next to him, turning him onto his back. Cas made no movement, no breath, nothing. His face was bloody. Bobby put a hand to Cas' neck.

"He's cold."

"Is he breathing?"

"No."

"Maybe angels don't need to breathe." I looked at Dean, sometimes I didn't understand how he could go from heartless bastard, to caring friend in hours, minutes even.

"He's gone, Dean." Bobby said softly. Dean looked at Cas, and it seemed he was going to cry.

"Damn it. Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?" He got up from the ground, visibly upset. He was looking down at Cas. There was a quick breath that sprang up in Cas' lungs, and his face healed quickly, his eyes opened. "Cas?! Hey! Hey! Okay. All right." Bobby and Dean helped Cas sit up. He shook his head slightly, as they did.

"That was unpleasant." He said.

"Let's get him up. Easy, there." Dean said, they helped him stand, he didn't take his hand of Cas' arm. Cas looked around in disbelief.

"I'm alive."

"Looks like." Bobby said, I could hear relief in his voice.

"I'm astonished. Thank you – both of you."

"We were mostly...just trying to save the world." Bobby hinted at a smile.

"I'm ashamed. I really overreached."

"You think?" Dean asked, Cas' head was bowed.

"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you."

"All right, well, one thing at a time. Come on. Let's get you out of here. Come on." They began to led him out. Cas paused.

"I mean it, Dean."

"Okay. All right. But let's go find Sam, okay?" Cas pushed Dean and Bobby back.

"You need to run now!" He was bent over, his voice strained. "I-I can't hold them back!"

"Hold who back?" Dean asked.

"They held on inside me. Dean, they're so strong."

"Who the hell-?" Bobby asked.

"Leviathan!" Cas said gruffly "I can't fight them. Run!" Cas writhed and Dean turned to Bobby.

"Go! Go get Sam! Go get Sam!" Dean turned back to Cas. Bobby stopped at the door.

"Too late." Cas' voice had seemed to change, and I jumped back slightly.

"Cas?" Cas grabbed Dean, pulling him a bit closer.

"Cas is-" He shrugged, looking up. "He's gone. He's dead." He jerked his shoulders up playfully, and Dean stared. "We run the show now." He threw Dean across the room, grinning. "Ah." He moved quickly over to Bobby and threw him too, I ducked behind out behind the door, shaking. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun."


	8. Not What I expected

There were soft footsteps, walking away from where I was hiding. After a minute, I heard Dean and I held my breath.

"Bobby?" There was a pause. "How many of you ass-clowns are in there? A hundred? More?" Yet another pause. "Your vessel's gonna explode, ain't it? Wouldn't do anything too strenuous. In fact, I'd call it a day, head on home, huh?"

"We'll be back. For you." I froze, huddling closer to the corner, as the footsteps drew near. He didn't notice me, but I could see the black fluid dripping out.

"Well, this is a new one." I heard Bobby say.

"Yea." Dean breathed out. "Where's Elizabeth?"

"She was hear a minute ago." Bobby answered. I whimpered quietly, and pushed myself up.

"I'm-I'm here." I said, softly, peeking around the door. Dean sighed in relief, and came over.

"You alright?" He asked, I nodded. "Where's Sam?"

I didn't speak, instead I immediately went off to the supply closet, where I knew Sam would be. I walked quickly, hearing their footsteps behind me. Dean walked in, as I stopped by the door.

"Sam. Sam. Sam! You hearing me?" Dean said, putting a hand against Sam's chest. "Whoa. Look at me." Sam looked like a frightened puppy after being kicked. "Hey. All right, we got to button this up. Come on, let's get out of here. Come on." Sam began to follow, but looked around one last time. I took his arm gently, and led him out. When they passed the door, I turned and pushed it open.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, Bobby and Dean stopping.

"Cas." I answered. "He went this way. He's going to a water reservoir."

They moved quickly, taking up the lead. We ran in, in time to see Cas' head go under the water, and a whirlpool appear, black liquid radiating out from it, before disappearing.

"Aw, hell." Bobby said. I looked up to the sign that read "Public Water Supply. No Swimming. No Fishing. No Boating." and frowned, turning directly around.

"Damn it." Dean muttered.

"You said it. Those...whatever you call 'ems..." Bobby started.

"Leviathan." Sam corrected.

"Right. If they're in the pipes, they got themselves a highway to anywhere."

"Awesome." Dean said, pissed. He stepped forward and pulled Castiel's trench-coat, out of the reservoir, holding it as the water drained out. "Okay. So he's gone."

"Yeah. Rest in peace." Bobby commented. "If that's in the cards." Dean rolled up the trench-coat, folding it somewhat, and looked down at it sadly.

"Dumb son of a bitch."

"Well, he was friends with us, wasn't he? Can't get much dumber than that." Bobby said. "Come on, those things will be coming up for air soon."

I frowned, I had been angry at the little angel in the show and he just did what made me angry, but this time right in front of me. _He had to go_. He had to go, and do a stupid thing for power and get himself killed in the middle of it. Sam put a hand on my shoulder, guiding me out of the gated area, following Dean and Bobby.

~~O~~

I sat on the floor, across from the couch, where Sam slept.

"Sammy." Dean said, touching Sam's chest. Sam jumped up, startled. "Sammy, hey – Whoa. That's twelve hours straight, I'm calling that rested. Here." He handed Sam a bottle of water and a power bar. "Hydrate, and uh, protein-ate." Dean pulled a chair, sitting in front of Sam.

"Breakfast in bed."

"Don't get used to it. Let me see that hand." Dean said, as Sam moved his hand over for him. Sam's eyes wandered to the side and I frowned, wanting to mutter a quiet 'shut up Lucifer' hoping maybe it'd help somehow. Dean removed the bandage, inspecting the stitches. "Eh, you'll live." Dean got up and grabbed some whiskey. "Here." He poured it over Sam's wound, and Sam sucked in his breath with pain. "All right, take it easy."

"So, ooze invasion. Any leads?" Sam asked.

"I got all my feelers out." Bobby said, taking the seat Dean had vacated. "Whatever they're up to, it ain't – ain't about going Mothra down Main Street. They'll turn up. You seem pretty eager to stretch your legs, you know." Bobby put a new bandage on Sam's hand, re-wrapping it. Sam grunted softly.

"Now onto our other big problem. How're you doin'? And do not say okay." Dean said, his voice demanding.

"I'm not okay." Sam answered.

"You think?" Dean snapped.

"Hey. Go a little easy." Bobby said softly.

"There's nothing easy about it, Bobby, okay. We acted like he had everything under control."

"I get it. I'm sorry. Look, I- I didn't exactly want to crack up, you know?" Sam spoke up.

"What the hell happened back there?"

"Well, it's not just flashbacks any more."

"Well then what?"

"It's more like... I'm seeing through the cracks." He glanced at me momentarily, seemingly lost and I nodded.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm having a difficult time figuring out what's real."

"Hallucinations."

"For starters."

"Well, for starters, if you're tripping Hell's Bells, why would you hide that?"

"I wasn't hiding it, Dean, I – I was just not talking about it. I mean it seemed like you two had enough going on as it was. Look, I-I just figured, try to hold onto the safety bar and ride it out, you know? But it's getting more specific."

"As in specifically what?" I frowned, as Dean poured glasses of whiskey for himself and Bobby. Sam took the chair, and I found myself leaning against the table. Sam explained the hallucinations and Lucifer. "What the hell, Sam?"

"I told you."

"I mean seriously, how do you, how do you argue with that?"

"I know. It's a problem."

"Well now wait, I got it. Why would the Devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the Cage?"

"'Cause, as he puts it... you can't torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away." Sam looked sideways at a chair near the wall, and I felt the urge to glare at it.

"Okay, fine. But this Malibu dream mansion that he, he, he makes for you to take away is this post-apocalyptic mess?" Sam looked over to the side after Dean finished. He looked frightened, and small. "Wait. Are you seeing him right now?" Sam looked back at his brother and nodded, and I moved to stand near Bobby. "You know that he's not real. Right?"

"He says the same thing about you." Sam confessed. Dean turned towards Bobby.

"I'm going back to work." Bobby said, turning away.

"Elizabeth?" Dean said, turning toward me, my gaze was still lingering on the chair. I snapped my attention to Dean.

"Yea?"

"You knew?"

"Yea. I told him when he first started hallucinating that it was going to be hard. There's nothing you can do. I'm serious Dean. Worry about the Leviathan, I'll help Sam keep it together."

"You said for me to take advantage of the time when Sam had this under control. You knew this would happen."

"Yea?"

"You knew and you didn't tell me? Didn't give me a better explanation?!"

"Yes. I knew. I knew it all. I knew Hallucifer was going to pop in when Sam went to get the blood. I knew he'd be over here making smart-ass remarks like "he wants to hold your widdle hand" And I know he's gonna be here for a bit and being annoying as hell. Okay? _I knew._" I huffed, and sat down in the corner, picking up a journal and flicking through it. I never heard a response, nor did I look to see what his reaction was. A few hours following, Sam was taking apart his gun, while Bobby was on the computer in the kitchen, Dean leaning over his chair. I could see them talking, and heard them faintly, but didn't care to listen. When Dean's back was to Sam, I slid out the other direction, hoping I was unnoticed. I didn't want to be seen, I didn't want to be heard. I needed air, and room. Maybe I should just go, find my own way home, or maybe find a new life here. Whatever was going to happen, I sure as hell didn't want to stick around anymore. I'm sure Dean hates me, Sam's basically lost for the time being, and being with Bobby hurts me.

For all I knew, it'd be best to just disappear and not return, but I had my doubts. I'd taken some loose cash from them, and went to find a motel. I rented a room and inside, I sat on the half-decent bed. There was a small radio and I turned it on, Runnin' by Adam Lambert was playing, and I grinned, it was one of my favorites.

"_Round and around I'd go,_

_addicted to the numb living in the cold. _

_The higher, the lower, the down, down, down. _

_Sick of being tired _

_and sick of waiting for another kind of fix._

_The damage is damnin' me down, down, down. _

_My heart's beating faster,_

_I know what I'm after._

_I've been standin' here my whole life,_

_everything I've seen twice_

_now it's time I realize,_"

I sang, turning up the volume.

"_It's spinning back around now, _

_on this road I'm crawling._

_Save me cause I'm falling, _

_now I can't seem to breathe right _

_cause I keep runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin', _

_runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin',_

_runnin' from my heart._"

I frowned, suddenly my thoughts were on the lyrics.

It all blended with what was happening. Sam would be sick of being tired, and Dean would be sick of waiting for another kind of fix. The damage would damn them down, all of them. Another thing, everything that's happening, it seemed it was what was going on. Everything I'm seeing for another time, it's coming back around, knocking me down, and even I need saving. Because right now_ I _am running. And I'm running from the pain of losing them, losing Bobby, I'm running from what I already witnessed. I'm running from my heart. I shrugged it off, and thought about the beginning of the song. "_Steel to my trembling lips, How did the night ever get like this? One shot and the whiskey goes down, down, down. Bottom of the bottle hits, waking up my mind as I throw a fit. The breakin' is takin' me down, down, down._"

Somehow I could relate this song to everything, and anyone. I felt a pang of guilt for running out on them, especially when I know so much and when I helped so little. I listened a bit longer, Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance, One by Metallica, So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold, and Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin all played before I turned it off. I sat thinking back on how much I wished I was a hunter in my world. How much I actually thought I would love to be, and now I have an actual chance to be a hunter, and I'm running from my chance. But I also didn't want anything to do with anything right now. My thoughts were interrupted by a five soft knocks on the door. I frowned, and went over to the door, opening it.

"Hey." Dean said, calmly.

"Did you follow me?" I asked, slightly annoyed. He shook his head a little.

"No, GPS." When he saw the look of confusion on my face, he continued. "Check your jacket pocket." I reached into my pocket, pulling out a small cell phone.

"You put a phone into my jacket so you could track me?" I asked, my tone held anger. When he didn't answer I walked away from the wide-open door, sitting back on the bed, thinking of the songs, and my old life.

"Liz-"

"Oh, no, I get it, I do. You don't want Crowley to use me against _you_."

"Elizabeth, yes, I don't want him to get a hold of you, but I'm not worried about him using you against us. I'm worried about him torturing you." He said, softly, sitting on the bed next to me. I looked down at my lap, and played with my thumbs. "Why'd you leave?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters."

"Why? I don't belong here anyway."

"No, you probably don't, but that doesn't mean you should just disappear." He said, gruffly. "So, why did you leave?"

"It hurts, okay? Even when I simply saw gifs of those specific moments, I could feel tears burning in my eyes."

"Hey, it's gonna be alright." He put an arm over my shoulder.

"Dean." I said quietly.

"Sam will be fine, won't he?" Dean asked. After a minute, I nodded, and he rubbed my shoulder gently.

"The hallucinations will end at some point. Fine, I'm not so sure. There's much more than just hallucinations, but at the moment, that's all it is." I heard Dean sigh, and I glanced at him. After a few minutes sitting in silence, Dean cleared his throat.

"You, uh, want to go shopping? We need some groceries." I sighed, smiling briefly. There went me trying to stay away, and living on my own. He smiled and stood. "You can stay here, but, um, I'd rather have you back at the house, to keep you safe."

"I'll go back." His smile grew a little, and I stood, following him out to the Impala. In the car, he asked a question that'd been on his mind for awhile, I figured.

"So, what do you know about Leviathan?" He asked.

"Well, they can't be killed. But you can decapitate them, if you get the chance, but you have to take the head far away in order for that to work. Um, you're going to have to deal with Dick a lot, and it's not going to be fun, or easy. And at some point, things will go very down hill, and they'll rise. It's gonna be like that for awhile, but you already knew that." Dean nodded, pulling into the parking lot.

"Yeah, I do." He said quietly. "I only have a few things to get. C'mon."

~~O~~

It didn't take for Dean long to get what he came for, and I still didn't know if I wanted to stick around for this stuff. I'd have to, for now, for them. But I couldn't keep it up forever. We drove back, and Dean went into Bobby's house ahead of me, carrying the groceries. When I entered, I moved to the kitchen, leaning against the door frame.

"Hey, there Gunga Din, buck up." Bobby said, shaking his thumb towards Sam.

"So it looks like we got some bad news for a change. Stockville, North Kansas, most of a high school swim team got mangled to death in their locker room." Sam commented.

"Cop talk on the wire's kind of garbled, saying it looks like some kind of wild animal attack. They're saying that whatever attacked them's about the size of a linebacker." Bobby added, standing up, Dean leaned over the table.

"It's a lead, Dean." Sam said.

"All right, but if you think you're going out on a hunt-"

"No, I know. I'm not. But you are. Look, Bobby's running the hub, I'm – I'm 51-50'd, which leaves you to follow this thing up."

"Sam, you're in the middle of a psychotic break."

"It's a couple hours' drive, Dean, and it could be a Leviathan thing."

"Nah, if you think I'm leaving you here alone-"

"Hey. What am I, chopped brains on toast? I can eyeball the kid. Go. Work off some of these nerves on something useful." Bobby said, Dean looked between the both of them and shrugged.

"Fine." It was quiet for a minute. "Liz, you wanna tag along?"

I hesitated, questioning if I should, then shrugged and nodded. "Sure."

We headed out, Dean flipped the radio on. I grinned and sang along as Carry On Wayward Son played. He couldn't tell what was so funny, but sang with me. In one of the instrumental parts, I spoke.

"The show, Supernatural. There's really no title song, so basically, the show's theme song, for the fans at least, is Carry On Wayward Son. It's one we all know." And straight back to singing, though Dean looked a bit interested. As we pulled up, he hesitated in the car. "Look, I'll wait here. I'm too young, I won't pass off as any agent or anything. It's best if I wait."

He still looked hesitant, but nodded. "Got a gun or knife just in case?"

I nodded, my hand shooting to where I'd concealed a knife at my waist. He nodded and went inside. Dean was in there awhile, and I was starting to get a bit bored. I stepped out of the Impala for a bit of fresh air, waiting. Not long after, darkness rolled around and Dean came out.

"Hey."

"Hey." I replied, sliding back into the Impala. He started up the car, and off we went, with him dialing Sam's number.

"Well, we are positive for ick. Same kind of stuff that came out of Cas, and, uh, two of the swim kids were missing – they stole one of their parents' cars." I thought back to what this scene was like. Sam and Hallucifer, I frowned. "I don't know, it makes sense, right? Anyway, uh, state trooper's got surveillance cam on the kids about six hours old, of them gassing up just south of Dakota line, so I'm headed back your way. We'll just track them from Bobby's."

Dean glanced at me, and I guessed he could see my worry, as best as I tried to hide it. "Hey! How are you doing?" He asked through the phone. "Okay. Well hang in there, all right?" They hung up and Dean threw me a look. _Spill it_ he seemed to say. I sighed, hesitating.

"Um, Leviathan are assclowns that won't be easy to fight. Oh, and Sam's losing it to hallucination- Lucifer, or as we called him-Hallucifer, who can't stop cracking jokes."

"And..?" He persuaded, his eyes on the road in front him.

"Sam's not sure what to think. He's thinking this world may just be a dream, hell, even I was thinking it. Hallucifer is saying that basically they don't have HBO in the pit, and all he's got is Sam, and Sam's the game to him." I paused, though the silence was deafening. "What I can't understand is why, at no time, does Sam get a break. I mean, you don't have to deal with this directly like Sam, but you still have to deal with it. But Sam, he gets all this crap piled on top of each other. Your mother, in _his_ nursery, Jess, the psychic crap, drinking demon blood, raising Lucifer, taking Lucifer and Michael and Adam down to the pit with him, having no soul and the stupid heartless things he did without it, now this, after getting his soul back, him losing his marbles, though he tries so hard to pull it together. He tries so hard Dean-" My voice seemed to be pleading.

"I know he tries. He always tries."

"No, Dean, you don't understand. He tries so hard because he hates letting you down. He hates it, and he tries not to." I wiped my cheek. I couldn't remember when I'd started crying. I sighed, calming down, his eyes flicking to me. "Anyway...Sam's breaking down and Bobby's got a different case."

"What?"

"Jody Mills, you'll hear soon enough." I hesitated. Again. Dammit, all I ever did was hesitate. We pulled up to the Bobby's. Dean went inside, leaving me in the car. He got back to the Impala, glancing at his phone.

"Oh, this can't be good." He muttered. "Give it to me straight, Liz." He growled and began driving. I took a deep breath and began.

"It's not Sam's fault, he doesn't know why he's gone to this place, in fact he thinks you took him there. Its not you, of course, though one thing that confused me greatly is how Sam got to the warehouse when you, well, not-you was driving. He's tense and on edge. He needs pain. Pain will help him." What else should I say? "Dean, it's not going to be this easy for too long, pain will help for now, but its not a cure."

Dean pulled up near a black van, getting out of the car. I followed and he stopped briefly. "Gun or knife?" He asked.

"I've got a knife, I never took it out. I'll be fine." I replied, confidently. We went around the building. I motioned toward a door. "Dean, here. Wait! He's confused. Be careful." Into the room we went, one before the other.

"Sam? Sam!" Dean called out. Sam looked at him, then to his left, then back, even more worried. "Sam, what are you doing?"

"Dean, Hallucifer, he looks like you." I whispered to him. We walked closer, and Sam pointed his gun at Dean, who immediately held up his hands.

"Whoa, whoa!" Dean shouted.

"I was with you, Dean!" Sam said quietly, frightened.

"Okay. Well, here I am."

"No. No. I don't, I..." He looked to his left again, then right back at Dean. I moved out from behind, standing next to Dean, hoping maybe I'd be a little proof this Dean was the real. "I can't know that for sure. You understand me?"

"Okay, now we're gonna have to start small." Dean said.

"I don't remember driving here." Sam said, small, after a minute of looking to his left his gun turned to that direction and he pulled the trigger, making me jump slightly.

"Whoa, whoa! Sam! This discussion does not require a weapons discharge!" Dean said,loudly. Sam, breathing heavily, lowered his weapon. "Look at me. Come on." Dean inched forward, and I saw Sam's eyes were wide with fear, and confusion. "You don't know what's real? Look man, I've been to Hell. Okay, I know a thing or two about torture. Enough to know that it feels different. Than the pain of this – this regular, stupid, crappy _this._"

"No, no. How can you know that for sure?" Sam asked.

"Let me see your hand." Dean reached out his own hand, and Sam lifted his right. "No, no. The – the gimp hand! Let me see it." Sam was turned around looking presumably at Hallucifer. Dean took the moment and took Sam's injured hand, startling him. He shook Sam's hand a little. "Hey. This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now. I was with you when you cut it, I sewed it up! Look!"

Dean squeezed Sam's bandaged hand and grabbed the barrel of the gun Sam was holding. Sam took an indrawn breath and winced.

"This is different. Right?" Dean said. "Then the crap that's tearing at your walnut? I'm different. Right?" Sam took his hand away, looking between me and Dean.

"Yeah, I think so." He said quietly. Dean looked back at me, I realized I'd squeezed my left hand, like Dean had squeezed Sam's. Sam looked next to Dean, not at him.

"Sam?" Dean asked, focused on his little brother again. "Sam."

Sam looked scared, but determined, and at me. Yet again, I was doing what he did, pushing my right thumb against the palm of my hand, though for him, as he did it, it bled through.

"Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I'm the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy." Sam continued to push his thumb hard against his wound. "Believe in that! Believe me, okay? You gotta believe me. You gotta make it stone number one and build on it. You understand?" Sam nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." Sam nodded again, and his phone rang. He answered quickly. "Bobby, hey." I took a deep breath, Dean seemed to relax a bit, and he grabbed my shoulder gently. I let go of my hand, and looked up at the two. "Leviathan here?" Sam hung up. "Bobby's got a live one."

"Okay, well lets go." Dean said, leaving, Sam and I following behind. It was dark, and we were silent most the way. I sat in the backseat, my head against the cool window, watching scenery fly by. Dean's anger had seemingly subsided, and Sam spent the ride inflicting pain upon himself on and off. "Look, when we get back to Bobby's -"

"It's okay, Dean, I'm good. No white rabbits." Sam paused to laugh briefly. "I'm not seeing anything."

"Okay." Dean answered. "Baby steps." I glanced over and caught the small smile Dean shot at Sam, and Sam gave him one in return. "Oh no." I hadn't been paying attention, and looking up I realized that we were already at Bobby's house, and it's been burning. We got out of the Impala, standing to look at the house. "Oh no." Dean repeated, as if we hadn't heard him before. Dean walked into the remains, and Sam went off into the lot.

Dean exited the remains soon after, Sam jogging up to him, I followed slowly.

"Any sign of him?" Sam asked. Dean held up a blacked journal and tossed it behind him, and we walked through a workshop.

"That place was torched. Somebody knew what they were doing." Dean said, gruffly.

"You think Bobby was back there?"

"I don't know." Dean replied, holding up a hand to indicate that Sam should search for Bobby to their right.

"Bobby!" Sam called. Dean took his phone and made a call. In the background I could hear 'This is Bobby Singer's direct hotline. You should not have this number.' and then a very faint beep.

"You cannot be in that crater back there. I can't... If you're gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I'm gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good! Now you said you'd be here. Where are you?" Dean hung up, visibly upset. I didn't bother calling out to Bobby, knowing his location was not here.

"Bobby!" Sam and Dean called out repeatedly. Sam walked through the junkyard cars. I followed him. "Bobby? Bobby!"

We turned a corner and saw Edgar. I frowned and scrunching my face, visibly showing my irritation and dislike of him.

"Winchester. Congratulations. Apparently you two are competent enough to warrant annihilating. I'd take it as a compliment."

A moment hadn't passed before Dean shot Edgar in the side of the head with a shotgun. The Leviathan straightened up, looking at the black ooze on his hand, and I watch as his face morphed, his mouth enlarging and his teeth shift and become long and jagged, and a long, two-pronged tongue unfurled. As his face returned to normal, Edgar knocked Dean's gun away, grabbing Dean and throwing him against the car. I knew at that moment, Dean's leg wasn't in best shape, but I was frozen. I couldn't move, as Sam ran up, punching Edgar in the face.

"Dean, now!" Sam shouted. Dean was still on the ground, but he could operate the controls for a hoist that's holding a car suspended in the air. Edgar smashed Sam in the head with a metal bar, seconds before the car took the fall onto Edgar. Sam fell backwards onto the ground. Black ooze spread from under the car around the leviathan's hand, the only visible part. Dean pulled himself over to Sam, where I had joined them.

"Sam." Dean muttered, grabbing hold of Sam's shirt and shaking it a little. "Sammy? Hey, come on now. Come on, I'm the one with the broken leg, you got to carry me. Sam!" Dean held his hand flat against Sam's chest, and Sam laid unconscious. Dean took out his phone, dialing quickly.

"Dean? I'm here." I said quietly.

"Is Sam okay?" He asked softly, worried. I nodded.

"He'll be fine. Don't move." An ambulance pulled up quickly, and it took pleading, and a tad bit of lying to get with them.

"Please! I'm family! They're the only ones I have, please let me come!" I begged.

"Alright, get in, quickly, quickly!" The paramedic said, rushing me. Sam and Dean laid on stretchers inside the ambulance as it drove down the street, lighta flashing and sirens blaring. A paramedic was examining Sam.

"Sam, stay with me, you hear?" Dean's voice pleaded with his brother.

"Male, late twenties, head trauma." The paramedic was saying into the communicator. "Signs of increasing intro-cranial pressure."

Sam opened his eyes, for a mere moment, before closing them and thrashing his head-his mouth opening.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was raising. "Sammy?"

"Yeah, he's seizing. Copy that. We're just pulling into Sioux Falls." The paramedic said, my frown deepened, and frustration grew.

"Sioux Falls? Sioux Falls General? No, no, no. No, you gotta take us somewhere else, anywhere. Please." Dean pleaded.

"Yeah, okay, buddy." The paramedic said, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. Dean knocked his head against the pillow in distress. They unloaded Dean and Sam, but wouldn't let me in to see either at the time, and I started to hyperventilate. The last thing I remembered, I was in the waiting room, freaking out.

* * *

_A/N _

_Hello! Sorry about the late update. I've had this ready for awhile, I just never edited. Here you are! ~Lissa_


	9. Will they ever listen?

_A/N: Heyya! Sorry for the very late delay, I've been at the school work and such. This chapter is sort of quick, and its from 7x03, The Girl Next Door. I'm going to try to update every other week, if not weekly. ~Lissa Joan _

~O~

I woke to an almost-empty, white room. I sat up before my surroundings came into focus. It was the waiting room. After a minute of sitting in confusion, Bobby walked in.

"You okay?" He asked, I nodded.

"We need to get them out of here." I said, quickly. Bobby nodded and went up to the desk. We were directed quickly to Dean's room, where we found him on the floor.

"You okay?" Bobby repeated the question to Dean.

"Bobby, you're alive." Dean said, a mixture of relief and confusion washing over him.

"'Course I am. Why are you on the floor?"

"They gave me morphine. A lot." Dean said, Bobby stepping over to help him up. "Hey, look, a monster broke my leg. Oh. Wait...the house. We thought you were dead."

"Well, I ain't. Not yet. But we got to run. This place ain't safe. Where's Sam?"

"Uh... Head scan, I think."

"Meet me at the ambulance dock, stat. I'll find Sam."

"Wait, where? Bobby, I'm a gimp." Dean was frustrated, and Bobby grabbed the crutches, taking them to Dean.

"Hey." Bobby said lightly. Bobby patted Dean's cheek several times, smiling at him. He turned to me after a minute. "Take care of him, Liz."

I nodded, and Bobby ran out. Dean went out of the hospital room first, on crutches, and I followed, scanning around just to be sure. We made our way quickly, Dean moving as fast as possible with what little he could. We exited in the back, but the leviathan were out there already

"Dean, Bobby's gotta be at the ambulance by now. Go." He went quickly ahead, nodding. I saw him get in the passenger seat of the ambulance, and quickly pulled myself in the back with Sam, slamming the door shut. From the back of the vehicle, I heard Dean repeatedly shout 'go' before Bobby accelerated away. I sighed, relieved, and pulled myself next to Sam, patting his arm gently. "Bobby?" I asked. I'd finally figured out a way to be useful.

"Yea?" He answered.

"Whitefish, Montana. The Cabin." I said, hoping he knew, which it seemed he did. We ditched the ambulance quickly and Bobby got a new vehicle. Sam was waking every now and then. Bobby and Dean took the front, Sam and I were in the backseat. Each time he woke, he seemed frightened, and jumpy, and each time, it died down a titch more. As he woke, I was next to him, calming him down and bringing him back to reality, Bobby helping from the front seat. He was getting better, and seemed to grip reality a bit more each time, though I could tell he was still seeing Hallucifer. Out of all the times, I had actually missed Lucifer when watching the show and when he returned, I was sort of happy yet unsure. But now I can't even start to be happy about it. I don't like him here. In the show it was fine, because nobody was actually getting hurt, but here it was happening. Here Hallucifer was ruining Sam's life, and I didn't want it.

After a week, he was on a normal sleep schedule, and he wasn't spazzing out each time he woke up. Dean, though, complained that his leg was itchy or that he hated the restrictions of the cast. He couldn't hunt, and he couldn't even go out to buy pie without issues. Most of the time, I took over the food runs, but I didn't know if the leviathans knew about me. It scared me to think they did, but from what I knew, they never let on. On occasion, Sam would join me on the food runs, though he wasn't himself. Hallucifer was riding shot gun.

I worried about him, but Dean helped my worries subside, watching stupid shows on the television. He made comments that made me laugh, and in return, I never forgot the pie. He wasn't about to go hobbling about, not now. Bobby and I made sure of that, and also we made sure Sam wasn't too far of his rocker. About three weeks passed before anything show-wise became familiar, and to be honest, I wish it hadn't. Sam was reading at the table, and I was watching TV with Dean. On screen, a woman was crying over a man's body as Bobby entered the room.

"Dude...Ricardo." Dean said.

"What happened?" Bobby asked.

"_Suicidio._"

"_Adi__ós, ese._"I chuckled, because Dean looked very moved at what was happening on screen.

"Well, this ought to cheer you up." Bobby tossed Dean the cars keys and he grinned.

"My baby!" Dean rejoiced. "now I just got to get this stupid thing off and I can drive again."

"So how is it out there?" Sam asked.

"Weird with a side order of bloody. Talked to a few hunters. They're running into the same kind of thing that set up shop at that hospital."

"Yeah, and don't forget tried to kill us at your place." Dean added.

"Well, consensus is they're, um, they're like shapeshifters only a lot more into eating folk. And nothing can kill 'em."

"Good times. Anything else?"

"Yep. They bleed black goo."

"Like that stuff that came out of Cas -" Sam commented. "those things from Purgatory. Uh... Leviathan."

"Yep." Bobby said.

'What about those chompers that you and the sheriff saw at the hospital? They still making spleenburgers?"

"Yeah, made some calls. That doctor never showed back up to work. Ditto a nurse and some administrator."

"So they could be at any hospital in America." Dean said, but my eyes had shifted to Sam.

"Yeah."

"What do you think, Sammy?" Dean asked, he was starting to notice Sam was out of it. "Sammy? Sam." He was quiet a minute. "Hey, ground control! Sam!" Sam over turned his left palm, and I could see the healed wound on his hand.

"Yeah. What? I'm – I'm right here." Sam replied, shaking off the mind issues.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Sam answered. We sat in silence for a few long minutes.

"Good. Every last bit of info I ever had burned down, so..." Bobby spoke up.

"What about this place? Rufus leave anything? Did you check the basement?" Dean bombarded him with questions.

"C-rations and dust. I don't think he'd been here in years. So, I got to go round up my old library."

"I thought you said most of those books were one-of-a-kind." Sam commented.

"Yeah. That's why I stashed copies all over the place."

"Okay, good. Um... Hey, uh, two-legs." Dean said, directing it towards Sam. "We're fresh out of grub. Want to make a run?"

"Sure. Yeah." Sam replied, as Dean tossed him the keys to the Impala.

"Be careful with her, would you? And, uh, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Pie." My grin grew, and I laughed. That one word was gif'ed and it was a source of entertainment to me.

"Obviously." Sam said, leaving with a grin. I settled my laughter.

"So?" Dean asked Bobby.

"So what?"

"Before you bail again – 'Girl, interrupted' over there. Any thoughts?"

"Looks to me like he's doing better."

"Better? What do you mean, better? You just saw him!"

"Saw him check out once. That's progress."

"You're kidding!"

"Look, seems to me that Sam's head ain't no different that your leg. People heal on a curve."

"Not diff- Bobby, I get this thing off in five days, I'm golden. Sam's not a curve. He's a frickin' time bomb."

"It ain't like he's keeping secrets. What you see is what you get. What's so nuts about calling an upswing?"

"Because that's not how it works, Bobby, ever! All right? Especially not with Sam. The other shoe is gonna drop. It's just a matter of when."

"Okay. How 'bout we worry about today's problems. And today we need intel. I'm going. You sit there and stew. I'll check in. Look...you sitting here wringing your hands ain't gonna do nothing. Maybe he'll surprise you." Bobby took the minute and left. Dean looked at me.

"So. Sam?" He asked.

"Dean, I won't be here to give you a note on feelings and Sam. He's not as bad as before, not the greatest, but he's keeping control." I replied softly. "Worry about Leviathans, because right now, Sam can save himself."

Sam came back not long after, setting the shopping bag on the table near Dean, who immediately reached for it.

"Ah, thank you." Dean said.

"Yep." Sam replied. Simple small talk, Dean turned off the television. "Where's Bobby? He take off?"

"Yeah." Dean answered, looking at his brother. "Hey, Sam, how you doing?"

"Fine."

"I mean, you still, you know.."

"Yeah, no, I – I know what you mean. Yeah, I'm – I'm still seeing crap that's not real. But, yeah, I'm fine. I mean, I can tell the difference."

"Think it's getting better?"

"Honestly? Uh... I don't know. I just know I'm managing it, so...So don't worry."

"Where's the pie?"

"I got cake. It's close enough, right?" Sam replied. Dean frowned. Some time later, Dean had fallen asleep on the couch, and I'd curled myself into a chair nearby, it was comfy for me. Not yet asleep, I watched Sam read the newspaper. I frowned.

"Sam. Don't go." I said sleepily. He looked at me, seeming to contemplate. "Please."

"Liz, I gotta. It's my past. It's my fault."

"But it's not fair." I said, stifling a yawn. "She's got a reason for doing it." He paused, but not for long. I yawned again, feeling my eyes droop.

"If it happened in the show, wouldn't it have to happen here?"

"Yea, but I don't want it too. I know your past with this one, and a few others. You're better off here. Forget the case."

"Liz-"

"Please, Sam." I said, my voice was still sleepy but there was an ounce of anger in it. "Damn the show! It hurt everyone before, why does it have to ruin here too. Please Sam. Forget this one."

I tried to stay awake, but it lasted for about ten minutes before I fell asleep. I was awoken a few hours later, Dean had just gruffly said 'other shoe!'. I sat up, frowning deeply.

"Sam. He took off.. I don't know. Nowhere good." Short pauses, it took me a minute to realize Dean was on the phone with Bobby. "Yeah, but his me-time ain't just him. I mean, for all we know he's road trippin' with Lucifer somewhere. Left me here like Jimmy friggin' Stewart... Straight to voice-mail. He turned his GPS off, too." Dean looked at the table and his frustration grew. "And he took my car! Too late!" There was a longer pause before Dean replied with a simple "All right." and hung up. He looked back at me.

"Dean, I don't know his exact location." I said. "He's hunting, he'll be alright."

He didn't reply, just looked grimly off to the side. After a moment, he finally spoke.

"You couldn't stop him?"

"I tried. I told him hunting this wouldn't do any good because she was already done with her killings. I tried to get him to stay before I fell asleep and he walked out without seeing reason."

Next thing I knew, I was being sent to fetch an angle grinder. Dean held it, and put it against his cast.

"You're goin' down." He said, beginning to cut into his cast. Soon after, after regaining balance on his leg, Dean and I went off towards the Whitefish Mt Gas & Sip store.

"Dean, he'll be fine."

"How do you know? Things can change. _She_ could kill him."

"But she won't. She'll fight with him, and then recognize him. She'll let him go, and he'll let her go. Just like old times for Sam."

"What do you mean?"

"Sam worked a case similar to this one in 1998. This one, however, is the daughter of the one from last time. The daughter that Sam had become friends with. She helped Sam. She killed her own mother, Dean. She's only doing this to help her kid, okay?"

"Not okay. We do not just let them slip."

"You have before. You will later." I replied, we entered the shop, and Dean went up to the clerk.

"How you doing? Uh, was there a, uh, big guy in here yesterday?"

"That's specific." The clerk answered.

"Uh, I mean big. Like about yea high?" Dean made the hand gesture of Sam's height.

"Yeah, maybe. Uh, brown hair?"

"Yes! Yes. That's him. Do you, uh – you remember what he bought?"

"Snacks, maybe?"

"How about a paper? Do you have yesterday's paper?"

"Yeah, right there."

"Oh." Dean picked up the newspaper, reading the 'Ice Pick Killer' headline. "Do you mind?" When the clerk shook his head, Dean walked out with the paper.

"Thanks." I said to the clerk before following Dean out. He went to the local coroners.

"Stay here." He directed. I nodded and sat on a bench near the door.

"A Kitsune. It's pretty rare. Dad and I hunted one back in '98." We were sitting in one of the 'borrowed' cars, and Dean was speaking to Bobby over the phone. "Yeah, didn't make our highlight reel...Yeah, but why pull the Houdini act?" He paused briefly before adding. "I got a few ideas."

Dean drove and we found Sam's motel room easily. It was dark, it looked to be around eleven or so at night. We sat for a bit, before Dean spoke.

"Why don't you, uh, get some rest." He said nodding towards a bed. I would have refused, but my sleep hadn't been great recently. I went over and curled up under the covers, but couldn't fall asleep right away. I could hear the click of the door unlock and through drooping eyelids, I watched as Dean punched his little brother.

"Howdy, Sam." Dean said, frustrated. "New rule. You steal my baby, you get punched. The hell were you thinking, Sam, running off like that? I mean, for all I know, Satan could have been callin' your plays." Sam grabbed a can of soda, and I forced myself to stay awake, or to at least hear them.

"Dean, look, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine."

"Oh, yeah, no, you're a poster boy for mental health. You have any idea the kind of horror shows I had going on in my head?"

"Dean, I left you a note. There was a job in town."

"A Kitsune. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. And you ignore Bobby and I's phone calls why, exactly?"

"Because I wanted to take care of it. And I did. I took care of it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Where's the body?"

"There is no body."

"Why not?"

"Because I let her go. She's gone."

"You what? Why?" Sam told the story about Amy killing her mother to save him, sort of. I was drifting back and forth, so I grabbed small bits of the words that now seemed to slur together. I was startled slightly, when they're voices rose, but they seemed to pause and quiet down, as if they remembered I was there. After a bit more arguing and choice words, they were quiet and I assumed they'd gone to bed, one on the other bed, the other on the couch.

~~O~~

The next morning, after I'd actually had a full night's rest, I was sitting in the backseat again, the door wide open. Dean was on the phone, and Sam was making his way over with a shopping bag.

"Bozeman. Right. Got it. Thanks." Dean said before hanging up. "That was Bobby. We'll hole up in Spokane tonight. We'll meet him tomorrow. Why don't you drive?" Dean tossed the keys to Sam.

"You gonna punch me again?" We laughed briefly. Soon after, we pulled up to a motel.

"Hey, why don't, uh – Why don't check us in? I got to hit the candy store." Dean said, holding up a bottle of pills. "Doctor's orders." Sam got out of the car, and Dean slid over to the drivers seat. Sam had already begun to walk away. I paused, my door open.

"Dean, don't do it. She won't do it again. Trust Sam." I said quietly. "Trust me."

He didn't look at me directly, but nodded slightly. I knew I hadn't gotten through to him, he was too thickheaded to break through to. I got out, slamming the door shut and storming off after Sam, I heard the Impala roar off into the distance.


End file.
